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  (November 10, 2009)

Abigail Graber

Page Editor
abbythegreat@hotmail.com

Abigail Graber, according to various and sundry ill-conceived Internet surveys: She is:

As smart as Miss America and smarter than Miss Washington, D.C., Miss Tennessee, Miss Massachusetts, and Miss New York
A goddess of the wind
An extremely low threat to the Bush administration
Made for Road Rules
Almost definitely on drugs

In numbers:

70% Godlike
30% Staggeringly dumb
60% Dead
70% Evil
60% On fire
70% Slacker
32.93886% Geek (exactly)

Pop-culture alter-egos include:

In M*A*S*H: Radar
On X-Men: Beast
In Lord of the Rings: Aragorn
On Scrubs: Dr. Cox
In Harry Potter: Hermione Granger
As a Disney princess: Ariel

And finally, Abby’s aura is crimson, her personality disorder is avoidant, her true talent is verbal ability, her theme song is “Dancing Queen," she belongs in the movie Tarzan and in The Addams Family and is destined to be a Rebel when she gets back to school.

Stories Authored (58)

Beyond the Boulevard

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (April 22, 2004)

Jersey Girl: Kevin Smith loses the edge

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (March 30, 2004)

It’s not all springtime and daisies for "Eternal Sunshine"

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (March 24, 2004)

Dark days for movies in Tinseltown

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (March 18, 2004)

Hidalgo hits the familiar spots

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (March 9, 2004)

The same old Dirty Dancing

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (March 3, 2004)

Mooseport outstays its welcome

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (February 25, 2004)

TV's portrayal of gays goes too far

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (February 20, 2004)

'And the Award goes to. . .'

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (February 20, 2004)

Beyond the Boulevard

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (February 20, 2004)

50 First Dates: Sandler’s flirtation with maturity

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (February 17, 2004)

A Miracle? Not quite

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (February 10, 2004)

Top 10 movies of 2003

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor and Erica Hartmann, Page Editor (January 17, 2004)

Cold Mountain: frigid romance

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (January 13, 2004)

Return of the King: voyage into the fantastic

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (December 22, 2003)

Beyond the Boulevard

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (December 18, 2003)

Sabotaging the movie rating system

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (December 18, 2003)

Angels in America soars

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (December 16, 2003)

Timeline: less than timeless

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (December 2, 2003)

Master and Commander struggles to stay afloat

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (November 18, 2003)

Students experiment with 'prescribed' highs

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (November 13, 2003)

One wedding, one funeral and one big mess

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (November 11, 2003)

Runaway Jury: Hoffman and Hackman get down to business

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (October 21, 2003)

School of Rock: Just roll with it

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (October 7, 2003)

Blazer hikes on the long campaign trail

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (October 2, 2003)

Beyond the Boulevard

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (October 2, 2003)

Halloween on the Silver Screen

by Easha Anand, Page Editor and Abigail Graber, Page Editor (September 30, 2003)

Matchstick Men: Crime doesn’t pay

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (September 30, 2003)

The duality of Dickie Roberts

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (September 9, 2003)

The Magdalene Sisters is painfully beautiful

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (September 2, 2003)

Uptown Girls: a classless act

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (August 19, 2003)

How to Deal is down in the dumps

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (July 24, 2003)

Pirates of the Caribbean is a film you should be seein'

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (July 11, 2003)

Putting the ‘bad’ in Sinbad

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (July 8, 2003)

Book review: Harry Potter has it all. Again.

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (July 1, 2003)

The incredibly bad Hulk

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (June 24, 2003)

Hollywood Homicide is deadly dull and dumb

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (June 17, 2003)

The Italian Job: For summer fluff, it’s good enough

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (June 3, 2003)

Age ain’t nothing but a number?

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (May 22, 2003)

Groovy movies from summers gone by

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (May 19, 2003)

X-Men 2 is Xtreme fun

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (May 5, 2003)

Dig into Holes

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (April 21, 2003)

Au revoir french fries, hello American way

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (April 10, 2003)

West Side Story in all its glory

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (April 1, 2003)

Till Human Voices Wake Us: A total snoozer

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (March 18, 2003)

Tears of the Sun severely tarnished

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (March 12, 2003)

The Pianist's haunting melody

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (February 24, 2003)

The Recruit gets the boot

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (February 3, 2003)

Evelyn does justice to courtroom drama

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (December 30, 2002)

Cheers and Jeers for Blair Books

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (December 19, 2002)

A Trekkie's Nemesis

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (December 17, 2002)

An almost royal Emperor's Club

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (November 29, 2002)

Harry Potter: faltering magic

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (November 18, 2002)

Frida brings art and style back to the movies

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (November 5, 2002)

Swept Away into the garbage

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (October 15, 2002)

Backs catch flak from heavy packs

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (October 4, 2002)

High heels bring teenagers down

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (December 31, 1969)

Who will the winners be in 2003?

by Abigail Graber, Page Editor (December 31, 1969)