Ely Portillo will make up 1/4 of the editors-in-chief this year, rounding out a journalistic dream team of never before seen talent and good looks. His meteoric rise to fame and fortune will be dramatized this year in the highly anticipated movie The Cream Cheese Caper, starring Ben Affleck as Ely and Salma Hayek, Brittany Spears and Elisha Cuthbert as his famous all-girl army of Kung Fu Killers. Ely's autobiography, Pantalones Magicos - the Story of a True American, goes on sale next February. His chart-topping single "Grandes Gordos" is the number one song in Latin music, and his hit TV reality show Oops! Where's the baby? is heading into its 3rd season on top of all ratings charts known to man. Hail to the chief.