Montgomery Blair High School's Online Student Newspaper
Friday, July 20, 2018 12:49 am

Iliya Smithka

Online Staff Writer
Iliya Smithka will graduate from neither the CAP nor the Magnet Program. However, she somehow managed to get a decent education. While representing no particular program during her stint on Silver Chips Online, Iliya was a spectacular staff writer, although she never really mastered the elusive art that is a nut graf (mostly she hung with her peeps Clement and Betsir, and of course her main man Will). In other words, Ms. Smithka is absolutely ridiculous and stunningly gorgeous. [Does that not count as a nut graf?] Iliya enjoys playing for Blair's fabulous field hockey team, playing phantastic phrisbee, reading/writing/rithmetic, sailing the seas and using alliteration (gotcha!). She also enjoys singing but unfortunately Iliya has very little natural ability in that department. A Unitarian Universalist and feminista, Iliya often has flashes of profound brilliance, asking, "Why are we here?" "Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?" and "How come Chinese isn't on the food pyramid?" In her former lives, Iliya was a gypsy-pirate and a British politician. She aspires to do many things in this lifetime, among them being accepted into Harvard but not going, learning Italian and/or Arabic and owning a purple pick-up truck. In the Bollywood movie musical of Iliya's life, the drama queen and super hero will play herself opposite Drew Lachey (who was absolved of all uckiness from 98 Degrees by playing Mark in Rent on Broadway for two months). Seriously though, Iliya will most likely major in oceanography, political science or psychology, and pursue a career in any of those wonderful fields. In conclusion, Iliya is probably partying like a rockstar, seeing as how she likes to pop, lock and drop it, even while on the Youth and Government trip to Annapolis. Ay, mami make it roll...

Stories Authored (14)

Songs Reviewed (2)

Norah JonesThinking About You
4 stars
Dixie ChicksNot Ready To Make Nice
4 stars

Galleries (0)