Blake Morgan-Gamber is a rare specimen with two last names; she woos women and men alike with her fanciful features writing and sumptuous sports editing. But do not be lulled by this siren, though BMG is a creature of beauty, there's many amazing talents inside of her head, it is just covered with miles and miles of irresistible spun wheat. Blake does not perspire, she emits a liquid often used to cure heart disease. She has starred in music videos, she has been lauded by fashion experts and astro-physicists alike, though the laws of physics do not apply to her. She is the subject of numerous documentaries and has earned more olympic gold medals than Michael Phelps, though she has never been to the olympics. Blake has no mailing address, yet she receives fan mail. She was one of the Beatles. She floats like a butterfly, stings like a bee and disrupts normal neural functions like an Australian funnel-web spider. Blake bats a .400 in softball. She has met Elvis and has literally seen pigs fly. She single-handedly got Barack Obama elected to the Presidency, pays only $4 for a $5 footlong at Subway, and makes 30-minute meals in only 20 minutes. She once read War and Peace, Moby Dick and Don Quixote in one day. Every night before he goes to sleep, Chuck Norris has a chuckle at some Blake Morgan-Gamber jokes. But Blake Morgan-Gamber has yet to get into college.