Oct. 2, 2008
Suck-up brownies
Back in the good old days, the way to make a good impression on a teacher was to polish an apple and give it to them. But over the years, teachers have taken control of their fiber intake and rendered such acts of self-interest and faked kindness useless. Though we know that teachers no longer need us to stay regular, we also know that a sizable percentage of them have a sweet tooth - this is where we can strike.
If you have that accursed 89.4 percent, and there are no other assignments that you can turn in embarrassingly late, consider this as a last resort. If you've got two unexcused absences and you're about to get a third, show up with these and a bright smile and maybe you'll "accidentally" be marked present. Before you lose your mind like you just won Jonas Brothers concert tickets, be advised - with great power comes great responsibility. Use these cocoa coaxers at your own peril. Though this recipe is easy, life is not. You cannot throw brownies at all your problems and expect them to solve themselves - unless one of your problems is hunger.
Suck-up brownies
Prep time is about 90 minutes. Current set-up makes about 6-8 servings. For more servings, simply multiply the needed ingredients and get an appropriately sized pan.
Kitchenware:
- 1 bowl
- 1 fork
- 1 medium sized pan
- 1 measuring cup
- 1 bottle of non-stick spray
- 1 heart shaped cookie cutter
Ingredients:
- 1 package of brownie mix
- 1/3 cup water
- 1/3 cup vegetable oil
- 1 egg
Preparation:
1. Pre-heat oven to 325 degrees.
2. Mix specified amount of vegetable oil, water and egg into a bowl. Use a fork to whisk this until the mixture turns into a solid light yellow color.
3. Add the brownie mix to the bowl. Stir until the batter is dark and the clumps are as small as chocolate chips.
4. Spray pan to bake the brownies in with a non-stick spray. Pour brownie batter into pan.
5. Allow brownies to bake for 40-45 minutes.
6. Take brownies out of oven, Allow brownies to cool for 30 minutes. Then, use the cookie cutter to cut out appropriate shapes. WARNING: Inappropriate shapes might have the opposite intended effect!
7. If one was so inclined, one could include additions written in icing to get the point across, such as "≥89.5," "sorry" or my personal favorite, "I'm too nice for detention."
If you have that accursed 89.4 percent, and there are no other assignments that you can turn in embarrassingly late, consider this as a last resort. If you've got two unexcused absences and you're about to get a third, show up with these and a bright smile and maybe you'll "accidentally" be marked present. Before you lose your mind like you just won Jonas Brothers concert tickets, be advised - with great power comes great responsibility. Use these cocoa coaxers at your own peril. Though this recipe is easy, life is not. You cannot throw brownies at all your problems and expect them to solve themselves - unless one of your problems is hunger.
Suck-up brownies
Prep time is about 90 minutes. Current set-up makes about 6-8 servings. For more servings, simply multiply the needed ingredients and get an appropriately sized pan.
Kitchenware:
- 1 bowl
- 1 fork
- 1 medium sized pan
- 1 measuring cup
- 1 bottle of non-stick spray
- 1 heart shaped cookie cutter
Ingredients:
- 1 package of brownie mix
- 1/3 cup water
- 1/3 cup vegetable oil
- 1 egg
Preparation:
1. Pre-heat oven to 325 degrees.
2. Mix specified amount of vegetable oil, water and egg into a bowl. Use a fork to whisk this until the mixture turns into a solid light yellow color.
3. Add the brownie mix to the bowl. Stir until the batter is dark and the clumps are as small as chocolate chips.
4. Spray pan to bake the brownies in with a non-stick spray. Pour brownie batter into pan.
5. Allow brownies to bake for 40-45 minutes.
6. Take brownies out of oven, Allow brownies to cool for 30 minutes. Then, use the cookie cutter to cut out appropriate shapes. WARNING: Inappropriate shapes might have the opposite intended effect!
7. If one was so inclined, one could include additions written in icing to get the point across, such as "≥89.5," "sorry" or my personal favorite, "I'm too nice for detention."
Tweet
Share on Tumblr
Silver Chips Online invites you to share your thoughts about this article. Please use this forum to further discussion of the story topic and refrain from personal attacks and offensive language. SCO reserves the right to deny any comment. No comments that include hyperlinks will be posted. If you have a question for us, please include your email address or use this form.
Brownies...from a mix! Whod-a-thunk.
Is it just me, or is Chips running out of ideas?
Seriously, SCO. You can do better.
Nice article.
Cwutididthar?
I don't mind your comments. I would suggest that you word your sentences so that they are not misleading.
I think you intended the modifier "when doing so adds nothing to the discussion" to modify Hyder's statement, not your own. Next time, place the modifier with the object that you are modifying.
In this case, your thought reads better in two sentences, not one. Despite how much you'd like to sound rhetorically like you are superior to Andrew Hyder by using long sentences like the one I am using, the sentences themselves become hard to follow, and often, people lose track of the words and the phrases, which is a bad sign because then they will simply stop reading your sentence and your thought will be lost.
Therefore, your comment should read:
"Andrew Hyder, why do you go out of your way to point out that I post critical comments when doing so adds nothing to the discussion? I post critical comments on articles that deserve critical comments.
Cwutididthar?"
See what I did there?
Your point is valid, however.