In India, the regular rules of the universe don't seem to be in effect. Take, for example, the laws of time and space. Einstein stated unequivocally that they can't be bent, yet this country proves otherwise. "In a minute" to an Indian can mean anywhere from an hour to two days.

What, really, is the dress code on Bangalorean streets? Well, when in Bangalore, do as the Bangaloreans do. For one thing, wearing "revealing" clothing like shorts above the knee is generally taboo. Yet sandals are a given for both men and women in Bangalore - whether on a walk in the park or at a formal gathering.

Bangalorean dinner parties are seriously time consuming. If you've ever been to one, you know what I mean. Here's the basic schedule...

There are few places so totally in harmony with nature as Bangalore. South Indian parties and "functions" feature meals served on banana leaves, the perfect disposable plates. Cows roam the streets freely and motorists tend to give them the right of way.

Well, since we're finally in 2009 (the year before the year of all years...ONE-OH) here's a little something from SCO to you: the official unofficial guide to talking like an Indian! Practice speaking with these "Indianisms" to be as hip as those "Slumdog Millionaire" characters.

India is a kaleidoscope, a tapestry woven of 17 languages and a billion people. And it's people who give the country its color: the seemingly ordinary, unsung heroes of everyday life, the blue-collar workers.

"My, how THIN you've gotten! Come in and eat something!" Every Indian has heard this upon visiting the home of a long-lost relative. Whether or not one has actually lost weight is irrelevant. If someone asks you if you want more food at an Indian meal, it's a rhetorical question.

Every day is Black Friday in Bangalore. Comic Russell Peters proudly proclaimed to the world on one of his shows that "all Indians are cheap." And while that's a bit of a blanket statement, most Indians are, truthfully, pretty frugal. It's part of the culture. Why go all the way to the grocery store when there are door-to-door vegetable vendors? It's easier than Peapod and more affordable, too.

When I entered the austere, white concrete reception hall at the Times of India (ToI) printing press in Bangalore, filled with plastic chairs, I stopped in my tracks for a moment. Could this press, I questioned, really be the largest facility of its kind in all South Asia?

The Indian metropolis of Mumbai is home to over 12 million people. This week, they bear witness to a terrorist attack that left 195 dead - including several police officers, American tourists and at least two journalists - and over 300 injured. On Nov. 25, terrorists disguised as students held victims hostage in two famous hotels, the Taj Mahal and the Oberoi, then set fire to the former. Shots were fired and explosives set off around several other Mumbai landmarks. The tragedy lasted for three days as captives remained trapped in the city and the death toll rose seemingly without end.