Do you hail to the Redskins?

Jan. 6, 2006, midnight | By Abe Schwadron Josh Zipin | 16 years ago

A test of your loyalty to the Burgundy and Gold

With the Washington Redskins in the NFL Playoffs for the first time since 1999, local football fans have something to celebrate. To those casual fans who like to share the excitement and learn the game, this means a weekend of social stimulation. But to those supporters who take their fandom seriously, Saturday's matchup with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers means ecstasy or depression, love or hate, life or death. All this banter begs the question, what kind of Redskins fan are you? This short quiz will determine exactly where you lie on the spectrum on Washington football fanatics.

The Quiz of Allegiance

  1. When the Redskins win on Sundays, on Monday, you…
    1. Wonder why everyone is wearing a Clinton Portis jersey
    2. Go about your routine as usual
    3. Are happy to share in the excitement
    4. Add another newspaper clipping to your Joe Gibbs shrine
  2. When the Redskins lose on Sundays, on Monday, you…
    1. Are satisfied as long as you won your Fantasy Football matchup
    2. Go about you routine as usual
    3. Share your frustrations with friends and fellow fans
    4. Spend your lunch period in the bathroom, crying
  3. You have been a Redskins fan since…
    1. October
    2. They won the Super Bowl in 1992
    3. Birth
    4. Joe Gibbs' birth
  4. While watching the Redskins game, your mom asks you to take out the trash. You…
    1. Take out the trash immediately
    2. Take care of it next commercial break
    3. Pretend not to hear
    4. Lock the door and mute the TV
  5. Clinton Portis and Santana Moss are…
    1. Good football players
    2. The Redskins' top offensive stars
    3. Your role models
    4. Tattooed on your arms
  6. When you see a Dallas Cowboys' fan, you…
    1. Say "Howdy"
    2. Shake your head and keep walking
    3. Get out the broom and holler "Sweep!"
    4. Show them the meaning of "unnecessary roughness"
  7. When you wake up on Game Day, you…
    1. Slap on your suspenders and do your homework
    2. Look in the paper to see when the game is on
    3. Don your Redskins jersey and all apparel
    4. Paint your entire body burgundy and gold
  8. The perfect Redskins snack is…
    1. Fat Free Frozen Yogurt
    2. Chips and Dip
    3. Blue Diamond Almonds ("they're football nuts…")
    4. There is no time for snacks; the game is on and you're focused
  9. "Southeast Jerome" is…
    1. A rapper
    2. My neighbor
    3. That guy I keep seeing at Redskins Park
    4. Clinton Portis's smooth-talking press conference alter-ego
  10. In terms of your priorities, being a Redskins fan ranks…
    1. Just after shopping
    2. Higher than being a fan of any other NFL team
    3. First after family
    4. Slightly above breathing

1 point for every "a" answer
2 points for every "b" answer
3 points for every "c" answer
4 points for every "d" answer

What it means:
If you scored…

35-40, you are The Ultimate Fan: You can recite the entire Redskins roster—from special teams to the front office. You bleed burgundy and gold. If you were stranded on a desert island, all you would want would be your game-worn Doug Williams Super Bowl jersey. You are willing to give up such essentials as food and water for a week in exchange for Redskins playoff tickets.

30-34, you are a Diehard Fan: You own three pairs of Redskins pajama pants and sleep in the same pair if they go on a winning streak. You wink at Mark Brunell when you see him on TV. You have a Santana Moss workout video that has its own TV so it can repeat all day.

25-29, you are a Casual Fan: You like the Redskins enough to watch them when the game is on, but not enough to make time to watch a game in totality. Though you may not know the names of many of the players, you keep on wearing that old #12 Gus Frerotte jersey. The only way you would treat yourself to a new jersey would be if the Redskins won the Super Bowl.

20-24, you are a Bandwagon Fan: You decide whether or not to root for the 'Skins on a week-to-week basis, and based on the current score. You prefer church to Redskins football, but when someone asks you at church you say you're "taping it," only you don't know how. The colors are your favorite thing about the Redskins.

Less than 20, sorry nerds and haters, you are Not A Fan.

Abe Schwadron. Abe is a huge basketball, baseball, and football fan that likes to read up on sports in SLAM, Sports Illustrated, and ESPN magazines. Hobbies include streetball, poker and film-making. A sneaker addict, Abe likes to keep his kicks fresh. Abe likes reggae and hip-hop music, … More »

Josh Zipin. Josh Zipin has trouble paying attention for more than three seconds at a time... More »

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