Honey is anything but sweet

Jan. 15, 2004, midnight | By Shewit Woldu | 17 years ago

Its attempt to incorporate hip-hop made the movie a flip-flop

Watching Honey is a waste of your time and money. The hour and a half movie will give you a headache if you don't have one, make your headache worse if you do have one, and guarantee that you never want to see another movie starring Jessica Alba.

Honey is set in the inner city, so Alba thinks she has to talk "ghetto." Slang is supposed to flow naturally, but she said the words as if she was learning them for the first time (which I think she was).

I could have gotten over her sounding like Vanilla Ice if it weren't for the fact that the main focus of the movie is dancing, and its main actress has no rhythm. I wish I could send Alba to Camp Jim, where he could teach her how to count to the beat of the music. All she did was twirl her hips round and round off beat. It could have been funeral music, and she still would be shaking her hips.

Honey is about nothing. Nothing new or interesting, that is. It is about a girl named Honey (Alba) who is living in the rough area and wants to help inner city kids by setting up a dance studio and is given a chance to choreograph. But the director who gave her her start makes her choose between hooking up with him and having a career, inciting trouble. Honey chooses against the career. Preceeding her rejection is one of the worst scenes in the movie, with the director yelling at her and saying, "How you gonna play me like that?" if Mad TV was spoofing Vanilla Ice, they couldn't have done a better job. He should be blacklisted from all movies.

However, Honey is not all that bad. Rapper Romeo, Master P's son, made his big appearance on the screen and did a good job, but his innocent baby face made it hard to believe his character. Romeo played Drew, an inner city kid who sells drugs, and his innocent persona prevented the character from shining out. Also, Ginuwine made a guest appearance in the movie and was probably the only reason why I didn't leave the movie halfway through it.

All Honey is trying to reproduce the success of the Save the Last Dance, and substance-wise it failed. Save the Last Dance made me want get on the dance floor and dance. Honey made me not want to dance because of the fear of looking like Honey while I dance.

If you want to watch a dance movie, just rent Save the Last Dance, because Honey will make you nauseated from how terrible it is.

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