Minors Only!

Dec. 20, 2006, midnight | By Josie Callahan | 15 years, 11 months ago

Beware of "Unaccompanied Minors"

"THUMP!" The pitter-patter of shoes kick the back of the chair. Above the volume of the previews, the unmistakable crunching of popcorn, slurping of soda, and rustling of candy wrappers can be heard. THUMP…CRUNCH…SLURP…THUMP…. The movie theater seems to explode with the cacophony of noise that can only mean one thing: small children. A warning to parents, babysitters, and older siblings alike: drop the minors off at the door, and run, do not walk away from "Unaccompanied Minors."

The film "Unaccompanied Minors" is every bit as obnoxious as a theater topped to the brim with youngsters. The plot line follows a group of quirky and unrealistically witty unaccompanied minors who are stranded at the fictional Hoover Airport due to a snow storm on Christmas Eve. The four minors forge an unexpected friendship while cracking several ingenious plots to escape the grasp of the uncompromising and malicious Public Relations Manager of the airport, Oliver Porter (Lewis Black). With the help of Porter's good-natured assistant, Zack Van Bourke (Wilmer Valderama), the four fearless minors Spencer (Dyllan Christopher), Donna (Quinn Shephard), Charlie (Tyler James Williams) and Grace (Gina Mantegna), outsmart Porter and spread Christmas cheer to other passengers stranded at the airport; even their vicious antagonist.

Though the plot, written by Jacob Meszaros and Mya Stark is original, aspects of the film seem overdone and unfathomable for even the most inventive young audience. For instance, the fifth lengthy scene of Porter and a band of especially slow and dopey security guards chasing the minors all over the airport, is where many check their watches and grow frustrated by the unrealistic stunts that the kids think up.

Despite the several frustrating and nonsensical aspects of the movie, it effectively caters to and its target audience of children ages 7-12. The several repetitive and unimaginative bathroom jokes throughout the film never failed to get a rise of laughter out of the young audience. Not to mention that the youthful audience was undeniably enamored by the quirky, bratty, and witty characteristics of the four main characters.

It would be a stretch to say that "Unaccompanied Minors" is a failure since it succeeded in entertaining its target audience and delivering the kind of humor and plot that children often seek, with an adorable ending which ties in the spirit of the holidays and kindness which is bound to gain parental approval. The fast paced plot and adequate performances by the cast make "Unaccompanied Minors" a bearable holiday flick that is sure to be appreciated by children.

"Unaccompanied Minors" (90 minutes, wide release) is rated PG for mild rude humor and language.

Josie Callahan. Josie Callahan is particularly opinionated despite her small appearance. She loves everything Irish and her life is consumed by her one true love- Irish Dancing- which suits her just fine. She also adores British accents, performing, theatre, tiaras, and sparkly dresses. Josie is particularly excited … More »

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