March 30, 2010, 6:03 p.m. | By Sophia Deng | 10 years, 7 months ago

SCO's guide to prom 2010

It's the culmination of 18 years. The most important day of a girl's life, according to "Seventeen" magazine. No, it's not a college acceptance and it's not the Jonas Brothers concert. It's something bigger, better and sparklier than Edward Cullen – it's prom. With the recent bouts of gloriously warm weather sure to thaw us out of our frozen winter daze, we are reminded that May, specifically May 22, is just around the corner.

Asking someone to prom - maybe even the mere thought of asking - may make guys and gals shiver. But fear not! With this SCO expert, who has a Ph.D in prom studies, at your services, you'll be guaranteed a successful "yes" in whichever persona you wish to take.

For the boys:

Prince Charming
So you are a Romeo, eh? Already, you have an advantage in melting the heart of the girl of your prom dreams. For the musically talented Prince Charming, playing the guitar and piano for that special lady is a great opportunity to showcase your talent and sing your way to her heart. Although the serenade should tend more towards Train's "Hey Soul Sister" than Sir Mix-A-Lot's "Baby Got Back," it is completely your call. If you can't sing but want her to be crooned to, InToneNation or Blair's Choir may be available for service if you give them just the right amount of cha-ching.

Those not wanting to venture into the musical field will still have plenty of options. Hoover Fisher Florist Inc., the flower shop across from Blair, provides a wide selection of flowers that you can present to her in bouquet form, or for the bold Blazer boys out there, in corsage form! Just make sure you are not skipping class to get those flowers, although this expert encourages such activity over playing hooky in the bathroom.

Another traditional route is through sweets and baked goods. An unreleased Harvard study noted that roughly 100 percent of females enjoy chocolate and cakes. Try your hand at baking, which will come across as extremely impressive to your Juliet. Otherwise, there's always the bakery across the street from Blair. Simply put them in your own Tupperware and she'll never know the difference (don't worry, we won't tell her your secret).

Bold one
Ninety-nine percent of the time, the key to a girl's heart is expensive jewelry. But there is always that one percent where being brave will touch her heart. Do something that will knock her socks off so fast that she will be wishing to put on the dancing shoes in a jiffy. During the "Did you know?" portion of "InfoFlow," you can follow the template and voice over your own segment: "Did you know Pam Beesly, I want to go to prom with you?" Even better is when more Blazers will listen. On the announcements, during the 10 seconds between Dr. Coleman announcing his pause and actually speaking, interrupt and ask your intended date over the P.A.

Remember, being bold gives you much creative flexibility. Don strange costumes to gain attention, such as a Spiderman or a Darth Vader suit. Tired of suits? Go to school in your birthday Suit, having just "Prom?" scrawled on your chest. Just a warning: although this prom specialist won't mind, Dr. Coleman probably won't enjoy your cheeky display on Blair Boulevard.

The best way to understand a girl fully is by knowing everything about her. But beware - taking on this persona requires hard work, dedication, drive to overcome obstacles and a silent footstep. Before you plan on asking your target--er--date, observe the girl in question for about one week. Observations can include and may not be limited to her interests, hobbies, friends and, most importantly, intimate details such as the shampoo she uses. Go to BILL to copy her schedule down, casually appearing in front of her classrooms here and there.

To take it the extra mile, go the extra mile. Follow her bus or car after school to her house. Camouflage your face with paint to blend with the trees, get your binoculars out to find where she lives, what she does in her house, where her room is, and what song she likes to lipsync to before bed. And that's where this SCO expert will leave you be - you know how to woo her, you know her best, even down to her seat in AP Economics first period. Even down to her Herbal Essences Orchard and Coconut Milk shampoo.

Who said that asking someone to prom and academics are mutually exclusive? Because let's face it, as second semester seniors who are almost in fourth quarter, all we really want to do is continue learning. Run a computer program that asks your girl to prom, requiring her to provide inputs (so she will not be bored) and surprising her in the end with a message of "Prom?" appearing on the screen.

If your intended date is a bookworm, try your hand at writing love poetry, or sit together and read John Keats or Percy Shelley with her before revealing your true intentions. For the puzzle solver, challenge your date! 23 9 12 12 21 7 15 20 15 16 18 15 13 23 9 20 8 13 5? Hopefully, the answer will be 25 5 19!

Final advice:
1. No matter how unenthusiastic or unconcerned you are about prom, stay far away from coming across as bland and unemotional, asking in a fashion that indicates you believe that prom is more than just another school night.

For instance, on the scale of 1-10, with one being least painful and 10 being excruciating, the following conversation ranks as an eight:

Boy: Hey? What was the math homework today?
Girl: Two problems on page 76.
Boy: Oh, alright. What date is prom?
Girl: May 22.
Boy: Okay I'm going to do math homework now. By the way, do you want to go to prom with me?

2. A good idea would also be to gauge and adapt to the right time to ask your date. The following conversation would rank as an 11 on the same scale:

Girl: My boyfriend of three years dumped me today.
Boy: Oh, great! Now, can you go to prom with me?

3. Don't procrastinate. Asking someone a week before prom will not only place your potential date in a pressurized situation, making her uncomfortable, but also leaves you in a "Red Alert" situation if she rejects your offer. Just don't do it.

For the girls:
Although Sadie Hawkins style is not as conventional, there is no reason Lady Blazers cannot ask their male counterparts to the dance. Be cool and confident, knowing you have it in the bag, while simultaneously understanding that rejection is possible. Try not to employ too many cutesy props that you would appreciate, but that the boy in question likely would not. Big no's include: glittery hearts, teddy bears and in general, anything sparkly, furry or vampire-related. Although you can take the more conventional route, spice it up to ask him in a unique way. If you two connect over music, create a CD mix for him with a note inside the case asking him to prom. If you both enjoy basketball, ask him to take a look at your NCAA bracket, which would actually take the form of "Prom?" in huge letters.

In the end…
Prom is an once-in-a-lifetime experience, so cherish it for what it is worth. Even if you don't get a date, the night is intended to be an occasion to look your finest and escape the din of school. That said, this Ph.D is looking at her watch, and May 22 is exactly 53 days, 1 hour and 57 minutes away. Get moving, get cracking.

Need more prom advice from SCO? Leave comments, and Sophia will impart you with her almighty wisdom.

Sophia Deng. Sophia was the Managing Editor of SCO during the 2009-2010 school year. When not laughing or chilling to OWL CITY, Sophia can be found oil painting, playing volleyball, doing sudokus and sprinkling happy fairy dust over everyone. She loves folk/pop/electronica indie, Harry Potter, Burt's Bees … More »

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