Response to "Wow, thank God I'm not a woman!"

Editor's note: This letter is in response to a humor column from Silver Chips' April print edition, Wow, thank God I'm not a woman! by Eliot Stein.

First of all, I would like to say in defense of the female population of Blair that your article, while somewhat amusing, is utterly incorrect. Maybe 1% of the girls at Blair are the strange creature described in your article. I am certainly not one of those, and I can't say that any of my friends are.

While life throws us curve balls such as our period, what about the curve balls men get? I'm sure you'd complain if you were kneed or kicked in the crotch. I've never experienced it, but I'm sure it hurts. And while guys can't really ever tell when they might feel that terrible sensation in their crotch, girls know when the "dreaded" period will arrive and can pick up some Midol and tampons at CVS.

You say women have a weird fetish for grooming. Maybe guys don't have a weird fetish for it, but they groom, too. What's with the gel and spiky hair look? And what about guys' weird fetish for immaturity? Maybe I missed something, but I don't think overturning stools, sitting in them, and spinning around is what you might call "fun." There are other ways to have fun, that are certainly not immature. If I were that stupid, I don't think I could stand to show my face in public. Besides, at least our weird fetish pays off. I don't see any guys complaining. And guys weird fetish for sex? They want it, think about, and dream about much more so that women. What is it about sex? Guys can't seem to wait to have it, while girls don't want to risk the STDs and pregnancy. Again, we have reasons for being more mature.

So, vaginas and breasts are strange genetic mutations, are they? I do
beleive the vagina is simply a hole in us. And people, men and women,
are full of holes: the mouth, the eyesockets, the pores, nostrils, and I could go on. And breasts? Simply lumps that happen to be on our chest, just as shoulders, elbows, knees, knuckles, butts, and much much more are lumps. Now, if you want to talk about strange genetic mutations, seriously consider the penis and testicles. There is nothing on the human body that I can think of that resembles them and could explain why such weird things ever evolved.

As for clothes and appearances, I wear what I feel like wearing. I want to be comfortable, and some flares and a little t-shirt are comfortable. I don't wear any make up or even own dental floss underwear. My hair? I brush it so I don't look like some weirdo and then leave it alone. It seems to just fine on its own.

During Thanksgiving, the guys are outside throwing around a football.
Well, I must say I'm out there with them, because I don't want to talk about futons, thank you very much. WOMEN LIKE SPORTS TOO. And don't even try to deny it. Even the girls at Blair who do wear makeup and dental floss play sports. And while females may be more conscious of their weight, guys obviously are not familiar with the eating habits of girls. We could pig out on pizza, pop corn, non-diet soda, and ice cream all night long. And we do.

When I was little, I pulled the heads of my barbies and then proceeded to go outside and play in the mud with the boys. And I will admit that when I was that age, my favorite things in life Batman and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I even had ninja turtle underwear. And when I was four, I was Batman for Halloween. Never in my life have I owned a doll house, though I do still have all of my stuffed animals. They're soft and fuzzy and help me go to sleep at night, so back off.

Women are beautiful and unique, each in their own way, whereas guys act immature and stupid and call it fun and adventure. So, guys, next time you want to criticize the way women are, or rather, what their stereotype is, please consider the fact that you are much stranger than we are.