snoWatch: When will the lies end?

From the suits: All Montgomery County Public Schools will be closed today, Friday, December 9, due to weather conditions.

After the disappointment that was Tuesday's "snow," we've decided to spare everyone the emotional trauma of two letdowns in a single week. To that effect, we've adopted a policy of conservative forecasts and gratuitous HTML formatting, for the betterment of mankind.

With so many rumors of "heavy snow" dropping a delicious "7-9 inches" on Montgomery County, we figured it was time to put on our gloves, boots, sweater vests and other winter apparel and do some field reporting to bring you snoWatch – uncensored.

The following notebook entries detail events that may have happened on Dec. 7, 2005.
1:57:26 p.m.: Not snowing.
1:57:26:1/2 p.m.: Still not snowing.
1:58:27 p.m.: Snow falls off tree. Still not technically snowing.
1:59:42 p.m.: Field reporting overrated and cold, going inside.
2:01:30 p.m.: Fire evacuation. Back outside.

Before we make our scandalously accurate data public, we'd like to give the professionals with their "advanced degrees" another shot.

NOAA says: Our governments friends have finally mustered up some optimism. Rather than a measly one to three inches, NOAA has announced a 100 percent chance of three to five inches of snow. With a high of 36 degrees for Friday, any new accumulation won't last too long into the day, especially with snow showers tapering off after the a.m.

Weather.com says: Unfortunately, our friends at the Weather Channel have taken up the dangerous habit of flip-flopping. In the time of writing this article, predicted snowfall for Friday has gone from "heavy snow" to "wintry mix." While residual snow from the last storm will provide for faster accumulation, the 37 high temperatures for the day don't look too promising.

Broadcast media says: Like they really matter. But if they did, NBC 4's forecast is just an entertainment-based regurgitation of weather.com's predictions. Snow will taper off by noon, leaving behind 3-6 inches of luscious snow.

If temperatures dip low enough Thursday night, our "wintry mix" might pave the way to a day off. With showers ending by noon and a high of 36, any new snow on the roads won't last long into the day.

And now – drum roll please – for the first time in snoWatch history we present two sets of predictions.

With divine intervention
Chance of two-hour delay: 45 percent
Chance of closure: 60 percent
Chance of early-release: 2 percent

If they lied, again
Chance of two-hour delay: 25 percent
Chance of closure: HA! Silly children!
Chance of early-release: none

So if you wake up tomorrow and are pleasantly surprised by a winter wonderland, just thank us – please, no checks or money orders.

snoWatch question: If you could be any color snow, what color would you be?

Additional inspiration provided by Jeremy Goodman.