Everyone has different priorities. Practice the guitar or resuscitate a heart attack patient. Make your Ashlee Simpson CD into a decorative mobile or trade it in for a real music album. Spend a large portion of your nation's budget on education or toilets. Many people in America and abroad faced these decisions over the past several weeks, and this is how they resolved their epic dilemmas.
ROCK OUT OR SAVE LIVES?...
…former Van Halen frontman David Lee Roth has decided that the latter is more important to him, and according to NBC, is training to become a New York City paramedic. Could this be a washed-up rocker's last-ditch attempt to pick up chicks? I imagine it's easier to charm a potential groupie if they're comatose.
EVERYONE AND THEIR MOTHER IS GETTING A REALITY SHOW…
…which is especially true for the Hilton family. Seeing her elaborately dressed toothpick of a daughter tramp around with pigs on the telly was apparently not enough for socialite mom Kathy Hilton. According to NBC, she decided to tutor ten hopelessly ordinary women to fit into "high society” on national television. The working title: Silicone, Stilettos and Superficiality.
REGRETTING BUYING THAT ASHLEE CD?…
…The Horrified Observers of Pedestrian Entertainment (HOPE) can give you the closest thing to an emotional damages package, according to a report by NBC. One can exchange their lip-synched album at the Knitting Factory in New York City for "real music”: a CD by an artist such as Aretha or the Ramones. If you're not a New York resident, you can contact HOPE to get WORD. You should also direct your queries as to whether or not you can exchange your Britney albums to the e-mail address listed on the site.
DESTROYING THE DOUBLE STANDARD…
…one game of Counterstrike at a time. According to CNN, seven svelte ladies from Sweden are doing just that—shattering the proverbial glass ceiling in the historically sexist world of video gaming. What more could women ask for? We have the right to vote, the right to choose and finally the unparalleled reverence that comes from being able to efficiently annihilate digital bad guys just as well as men.
NO POTTY HUMOR HERE…
…it was all serious bathroom talk at the World Toilet Summit in Beijing, according to CNN. Toilet scholars, experts and designers from 19 countries convened to discuss the "basic human right” to a clean toilet. Representatives of the Chinese government also disclosed that they would be spending 238 million yuan ($29 million USD) on renovating the city's toilets in tourist spots. In other news, every other country in the entire world thinks Beijing is certifiably insane.
Joanna Pinto-Coelho. Things you should know about Joanna: 1) She likes to eat bagel lox, her grandma's carrot cake, her mommy's chocolate chip cookies and filet mignon (medium rare). 2) She is half-Brazilian. 3) She is a gainfully employed member of the American workforce. 4) She will … More »
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