Suck-up brownies

Oct. 2, 2008, midnight | By Sean Howard | 13 years, 7 months ago

Easy chocolate-y ways to boost your grade

Back in the good old days, the way to make a good impression on a teacher was to polish an apple and give it to them. But over the years, teachers have taken control of their fiber intake and rendered such acts of self-interest and faked kindness useless. Though we know that teachers no longer need us to stay regular, we also know that a sizable percentage of them have a sweet tooth - this is where we can strike.

If you have that accursed 89.4 percent, and there are no other assignments that you can turn in embarrassingly late, consider this as a last resort. If you've got two unexcused absences and you're about to get a third, show up with these and a bright smile and maybe you'll "accidentally" be marked present. Before you lose your mind like you just won Jonas Brothers concert tickets, be advised - with great power comes great responsibility. Use these cocoa coaxers at your own peril. Though this recipe is easy, life is not. You cannot throw brownies at all your problems and expect them to solve themselves - unless one of your problems is hunger.

Suck-up brownies

Prep time is about 90 minutes. Current set-up makes about 6-8 servings. For more servings, simply multiply the needed ingredients and get an appropriately sized pan.

- 1 bowl
- 1 fork
- 1 medium sized pan
- 1 measuring cup
- 1 bottle of non-stick spray
- 1 heart shaped cookie cutter

- 1 package of brownie mix
- 1/3 cup water
- 1/3 cup vegetable oil
- 1 egg

1.Pre-heat oven to 325 degrees.
2.Mix specified amount of vegetable oil, water and egg into a bowl. Use a fork to whisk this until the mixture turns into a solid light yellow color.
3.Add the brownie mix to the bowl. Stir until the batter is dark and the clumps are as small as chocolate chips.
4.Spray pan to bake the brownies in with a non-stick spray. Pour brownie batter into pan.
5.Allow brownies to bake for 40-45 minutes.
6.Take brownies out of oven, Allow brownies to cool for 30 minutes. Then, use the cookie cutter to cut out appropriate shapes. WARNING: Inappropriate shapes might have the opposite intended effect!
7.If one was so inclined, one could include additions written in icing to get the point across, such as "≥89.5," "sorry" or my personal favorite, "I'm too nice for detention."

Sean Howard. There is a spy among us and his name is Sean Howard. Originally from Dallas, Texas, Sean moved to Germantown prior to his current residence in Gaithersburg. Although he has now lived in Maryland for most of his life, he has retained his loyalty to … More »

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