The film that makes the audience go Ballistic

Sept. 24, 2002, midnight | By Zach Mellman | 21 years, 2 months ago

Wych Kaosayananda's (Kaos) Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever makes xXx seem like it should get Oscar considerations. The uncharismatic dialogue, dreadful plot, overdone gunplay and confusing storyline make viewing Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever a last resort when bored on a Friday night.

As the film begins, Ecks (Antonio Banderas), an out-of-work FBI agent, is convinced to stop a renegade ex-DIA (Defence Intelligence Agency) agent, Sever (Lucy Liu) in order to find his wife after he and she thought the other had been dead for nine years. Coincidentally, Sever kidnapped Ecks' son, while she feels that he did the same to her.

The confusing plot does not even begin to get explained until the middle of the movie, after most of Vancouver is destroyed by Sever, who, despite being a stealthy renegade assassin, just happens to be strolling through Vancouver while the FBI is looking for her.

As if the ludicrous kidnapping plot wasn't enough, the FBI, Sever and a terrorist organization are all searching for a tiny robot assassin who for some preposterous reason is inserted into Ecks' son.

With the plot holes the size of Nebraska, the stiff and unenthused dialogue only worsens the movie. Lucy Liu, the last person who should play Sever, as shown by her usual bland role on Ally McBeal, utters about a dozen stone-faced lines.

Interrupting the bad dialogue are random fight scenes which dominate the movie. The action scenes feel like hour-long fights, as there are no creative special effects to make them interesting. Apparently Kaos didn't realize that there can be too many explosions and gunshots.

What makes the movie even worse is that it has no hero. The FBI is run by a conniving villain, Robert Gant (Gregg Henry), Sever barely utters ten lines and shows no emotions, and Ecks is depressing and dull.

Sitting through all ninety-one minutes of Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (even the double title is awful) made me start wishing that Steven Segal would star in more "classic movies."

Official Site:

BALLISTIC: ECKS VS SEVER (91 minutes at area theaters) is rated R for strong violence.

Tags: print

Zach Mellman. Zach Mellman was born on October 18, 1956 (he was held back once or twice). He has lived in Takoma Park, Maryland his entire life. He is currently a senior at Blair enrolled in honors classes. He is also a member of Blair's golf team, … More »

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