The perfect equation for love?


Feb. 14, 2002, midnight | By Elana Eisen-Markowitz | 18 years, 11 months ago

Chips takes a lesson from Cupid and sets up two young singles


As St. Valentine gets restless for his big day and Cupid prepares to do his thing, dating services also want to cash in big time on loners looking for love in a hurry. And because Blair's got plenty of youthful souls eager for romance, Silver Chips decided to give back to the community this year with the creation of Silver Lips—a short-lived experimental dating service designed specifically for the Valentine's Day '02 pursuits of Blazers and Blazerettes.

Blair's SGA president, senior Alfonso Rosales, was originally planning to be dateless on February 14. Luckily, Silver Lips got to him before he succumbed to that unpleasant anti-Valentine bitterness. Silver Lips went off to find Rosales' perfect match after he formulated the following personal ad:

Single attractive male in search of single attractive female with long, silky hair and the desire to share romantic candlelight and horse rides along the beach. She must have large ears and a penchant for bare feet. Preferably, she should not be missing any limbs and should be able to name all seven dwarfs. I like film, Info Flow and canned food drives . . .

All the president's women

Now, one might think that any girl in her right mind would be absolutely melting at the thought of a date with the SGA president. But the females of Montgomery Blair seemed a little skeptical of Silver Lips and were unwilling to trust it even for the chance to date the Prez. In fact, most of the long-haired, big-eared, dwarf-loving Blazerettes whom Silver Lips managed to track down simply rolled their eyes and laughed.
If we were joking, perhaps laughter would have been appropriate. However, we were not. Silver Lips was a very serious enterprise, and eye-rolling was never the desired response.

After first blaming Silver Lips' apparent failure on Rosales' overwhelming and intimidating authority over the student body, we finally found a young lady daring enough to take the plunge. Sophomore Annie Cohen was willing to put herself on the line for the chance to date such an icon. "Of course I'll go on a date with him. He's the president!" Cohen laughed when asked to try Silver Lips.

Unfortunately, the match may not have been the greatest. While Cohen does boast long, relatively silky hair, she cannot claim to possess large ears or the skill that would be required to ride a horse along the beach. Silver Lips, being a very professional organization concerned with the well-being of its customers, decided to ignore these shortcomings and forge ahead with its mission.

The LOVEal office

Once the preliminaries were over and the candidates were chosen, the dream date began to come together. It was a perfect picture: two people who've never met out for a festive, sombrero-clad Mexican dinner at Mi Rancho in downtown Silver Spring. Silver Lips knew it had struck gold with this pair.

Love was in the air. Unfortunately, awkwardness also filled the air when President Rosales arrived late and had no flowers to offer the pretty lady. However, he soon redeemed himself by pulling out chairs and sweet-talking everything in sight.

Once inside the restaurant, Rosales and Cohen actually appeared to be getting along famously and thoroughly enjoying each other's company. Entranced in what seemed to be a captivating discussion about Cohen setting fire to the sombrero atop her head, the lovebirds ignored an inquisitive waiter the first two times he came to take orders. But once the initial rush of conversation slowed to a lull, Rosales resorted to answering questions about his presidential duties (what a conversation starter). Cohen, however, did actually appear to be genuinely interested and even allowed the conversation to transition into boring blab about college.

Here is perhaps when the date broke down and Cohen's admitted tendency to talk nervously overtook the evening. She proceeded to tell long-winded stories about various entertaining but ridiculous occurrences in her life. There was one tale of being terrorized and eventually punched in the nose by a seventh grader, another of being terrorized and eventually taken advantage of by her science lab partner and yet another about her terrorizing the neighborhood dressed as a hula dancer.

Towards the end of the evening, Rosales also began to tell strange stories from his early adolescence and, with that, realized that it was just about time for the dream date to wind down.

President Rosales thoughtfully picked up the tab and even walked Cohen to her ride. Then, to close out the night, he leaned in for a passionate embrace. Perhaps the president allowed himself to get carried away and Cohen simply got lost in the magic of the evening, because although both parties left Mi Rancho with an extra beat in their hearts and an extra skip in their steps, the next day's reality hit them both like Cupid using a catapult.

Dr. Strangelove

As much as Silver Lips would have liked to see its first and only project churn out a marriage, wedding bells don't seem so likely. The bottom line is that Cohen and Rosales are just at different places in their lives. "It was a really fun date, but I can't really imagine having any kind of future with him. School ends in five months, and that would be hard—that would be the end of it," says Cohen.

President Rosales prides himself on being well-put-together and intense, and he views Cohen's current lack of direction as a hindrance to their potential relationship.

"She's fun to be around, but she doesn't know what she's doing. Annie's really not the kind of girl I'd date because I'm very focused, and she just hasn't figured it out yet," Rosales explains.

"Besides," he adds, "she didn't have big enough ears, and it became evident that she didn't really like feet when I removed my shoes halfway through dinner."

So, to all the ladies with their heads on straight and to all the fellows who keep their shoes on during dinner, it looks like maybe there's still a Valentine romance out there for you.



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Elana Eisen-Markowitz. Elana Eisen-Markowitz was born in Washington, DC and lived there until her obese younger brother was born and the family was forced to move into a larger house in Takoma Park, MD. Elana then enrolled in the Spanish immersion program at Rolling Terrace Elementary School … More »

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