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June 16, 2003

Is it appropriate for high school girls to date significantly older men?

"No, in my opinion it is not appropriate for High School girls to date significantly older men. Everyone should date someone who is in his or her age range, meaning within a few years of his or her age. It is not only sketchy, but girls have to think about why a guy who is much older than her wants to date her. What would he be looking for in a relationship where there is such an age gap? Nothing very serious can happen. I know some girls say that they want a guy who is more mature than guys in their age group, but they fail to see why a guy would want to date a girl who is that immature."
-Rebecca Zeroth

"No, I think that dating an older person is wrong for anyone and its significantly wrong for a high school girl because she is not an adult yet and she is more able to be taken advantage of."
-Sophomore Deva Cherukury

"I think itís appropriate for high-school girls to date older men because younger men are too immature and some donít know how to treat a girl. Some old men do give and spend more time with their girl and know what they can and cannot do. Since they have more experience in life maybe they can teach us. Plus they have more privileges and with cars and money and jobs. So therefore they can take care of us."
-Sophomore Carmen Bermudez

"If a man who is 26 is going out with a 16 year old girl then they obviously have some sort of problem because heí praying on a little girl. I realize that most girls are in school so that they think they are grown and try to behave so, but in all honesty, if you are living with your parents then you arenít grown. I donít feel comfortable with the idea of an older guy and a high school girl or vice versa."
-Sophomore Helen Tefera

"I think its ok for high school girls to date under-classmen college boys, but anywhere more than that, it is just nasty. If older men are going for high school girls, it means they canít get girls around their age. Plus, what girl wants to stand next to a guy that looks like her dad."
-Sophomore Ha Thu Le

"Dating significantly older men is really major in todayís time. Many young girls date men who are more than 5 years older than them and some are still freshmen and sophomores. Depending on your age and maturity, you can determine if a man is too old for you."
-Denise Turner

"Personally whoever girls date is none of my business. But, older men date girls because they can have control over them and make them bow their feet. They also date younger girls because they like to have 'fresh meat' or girls that are virgins."
-Senior Fendy Mesy

"No, it is not appropriate for high-school girls to date significantly older men. They are at different stages in life. Older men who choose to date high-school girls usually have something wrong with them and are not mentally grown. To avoid getting hurt, high school girls should date men that are their own age."
-Sophomore Adrienne Shanks



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  • Anarchist on June 18, 2003
    On the same note, is it appropriate for guys to date significantly older women? I hear a lot about 'what does the guy want from the relationship?' from some of these opinions.

    It seems that some people believe that all "older" men are rapist and/or exploiters, and the only reason they might deign to notice a high school-age or younger girl would be to take advantage of her sexually. I believe that tarring an enormous group of people (believe it or not, most people in the world are over the age of 18!) with the same brush is prejudicial and wrong.

    Besides, how can you define "older"? I am older than slightly less than half of the girls in my grade. Does this mean that they are for some reason off-limits? If not, where does the line get drawn? Could I date someone 2 years younger, 3 years younger? Or should it be a percentage of my age? I cna just imagine a squad of cops busting into a restaurant: "All right, break it up you two. She's exactly three days too young for you to be seeing each other. You can get by with a warning this time, but next time you're gonna be talking to a judge!"

    Anyway, this sounds to me like the morals police coming after something that should be left up to the will of the individual. At some point in their life, people must be responsible for their own actions. Hopefully, people dating those older than themselves will understand that if the relationship is abusive, they should seek help. Calling all older boyfriends abusers, rapists, and exploiters is just plain wrong.
  • Anarchist on June 21, 2003
    Oh, another thing. Why aren't there any opinions from men?
  • Joey Buttafucco on July 20, 2003
    Of course it's apporpriate for hot young girls to date significantly, significantly older men.
  • -Junior Jasmine Wilson on September 16, 2003
    No, it's not necessarily wrong for high school girls to date older men, but I personally don't. A lot of things come with that territory and I am not one to date much older males. If the female wants to date that person let them do that, it's nobody's place to say whether they should or shouldn't have a relationship... Basically, what I am saying is who cares!! Mind your business.
  • kevin on September 23, 2003
    no its not ok, beacuse older man want more in a relationship than just going out and have fun. they want what they can get with a women their age. the only reson that a grown man over the age of 25 would date a high school girl is because they girls are pretty or the guy is missing something in his life.
  • the lonley little hobo:Psychol on September 24, 2003
    Any girl that is going out with a guy over 5 years older than her is trying to fill her empty childhood father fuigure! its prooven. if you have no father figure at a young age then it is highly probable you will gravitate towards a fatherly influence. the same as if you were abused, you may likely be attracted to abusive individuals.
  • Rachel (View Email) on October 15, 2003
    I think truely age is only a number. in life you will change your mind about many things no matter it should be. older, younger, new or used we all have our own choices and we should be aloud to pick and choose who we date. I'm 22 years old and act as if i'm 40. and for me to date a guy my own age is very stressful and hard to deal with. i like to stay in the house, read and watch alot of shows that don't apeal to the the younger age group and i find it easer to be with someone older. i want someone who vaules the same things i do. so yes i thinks it's ok to date older people. it just depends on the person. like i said i'm 22 and look at men who are 35 to 40 years old. but hey each there own and who am i to jugde.
  • Stanley (View Email) on October 22, 2003
    I, a 16 year old boy, am dating a 23 year old man. He is smart and provides me with all of my many needs. I believe that there is no problem with dating older men. I know this article is about girls dating older men, but I am dating an older one too and feel the need express my opinion.
  • 04 on October 29, 2003
    to rachel, the only problem is that, a girl grows and matures alot on those few yers from say 16 to 22, its a lot different for a 22 year old to date a 32 year old then a 16 year old to date a 26 year old
  • David (View Email) on November 1, 2003
    Well I'm kind of confused on this sunject. But I am 19 years old and I was dating a 16 year old and I didn't really think it was a big deal because to me 3 years isn't much. But I did get teased about it and stuff but I dont let what people say bother me. My girl was a junior in highschool and I'm a sophmore in college. We really liked each other but we broke up because her parents didn't want her dating anyone over 18 unless she was 18 herself. It's pretty sad for me because we still like each other so I don't really know what opinion I have for this topic.
  • Jessica Ekelund (View Email) on November 6, 2003
    i don't believe that there is anything wrong with a younger girl dating an older guy. Mainly it is a case by case decision. I have dated some one older than me but, he was a friend of my sisters and we had been friends for a long time so I knew him pretty well. In that case i don't think there was anything wrong with dating an older man.
  • : on November 17, 2003
    This is very interesting:

    my father's parents, when they married, were seven years apart in age. My grandmother was 19, my grandfather was 26. They were married in 1950.
    Until my grandfather died in 1999, they stayed happily married.

    however, if i had a teenage daughter, i would forbid her from dating anyone more than 1 year older. college is so much different from high school
  • E (View Email) on December 3, 2003
    I am 19 and I have been dating a man for over a year now. He is wonderful, his presence has changed me so much for the better. He treats me with respect and guides me in any choices I make. He has encouraged me to achieve high marks in university and helped me get a really good part-time job. He is there whenever I need him, just to talk, he makes me laugh. And I can honestly say that this man, no matter what happens, will have a place in my heart forever. He is 54 years old.
  • sugebear on December 8, 2003
    i think it is okay to date older men, longs as he is not about 20 years older then you. that is what i think
  • Rachel Marte (View Email) on December 10, 2003
    I do not think there is anything wrong with dating someone five to eight years older than you when you are atleast 18. If girls are mature enough to date someone older than that, I think it's their choice. I would personally think there is something wrong with older men such as: late twenties to thirties wanting to date younger girls that are in high school.
    Senior Raquel Mata
  • Happy on December 13, 2003
    I always though 2 years apart were the most. No matter if the boy is older or the girl is older. If they were 3 years apart or more that really means you like them as a sister or a brother. They will always have your back. Around your age range they could keep up with you. Also like most of the same things. Most of the times anyways.
  • james on December 26, 2003
    is it ok for a 23 year old man dating a 16 year old girl?
  • laura (View Email) on December 27, 2003
    i do not think it is wrong for girls to date older guys depending on the context. I, personally, am 19 and dating a 27 year old. I've known him for four years, and have been on a strictly friends relationship with him until about 6 months ago. If a girl has known the guy for a long time then i think its ok, that way you can tell for the most part what kind of a person he is. Though, it is very difficult, because a lot of people will not accept it, and sometimes its hard to put up with.
  • Mr. Bob (View Email) on December 30, 2003
    High-school girls should date high-school boys, for the most part. From that point it depends on the "success" or well-being of the gentalman; a sixteen year old girl might think it wonderful that her twenty-six year old guy has "money and a car," but may not comprehend yet what is wrong:; why is he living with his parents and spending all that he earns on his CAR, and not on further educating or at least putting himself in a position to care for a familyÖor himself! I believe youthful girls of this age are not as mature as they think they are. Once they get to college age and start to see the "bigger" world beyond there playground, and as long they are not in a "need" state of mindÖif it makes her happy...
  • anna (View Email) on January 3, 2004
    i think it is up to the couple on wether it is ok or not, my best freind is getting married to a 44 year old she is 19, he loves her and she loves him, i think it depends on the nature of the couple, and if they treat each other as equals, if they don't then it won't work but if they do, things can be as blissful as a dove in the sky.
  • Rose (View Email) on March 12, 2004
    I dissage. I did agre with becaus my mind has told me that older men are better. I've been trough many boys my age and I was beaten, i was forced to do things i never would normaly do. Because of this repeating over and over again I will no longer date men close to my age. Love can be stoped and if you happen to fall in love with a older man then you do. You can't help it. I personaly would say it is ok as long as the following are in Things I would be considering (no particular order): Do we have... 1. Similar family backgrounds? (At least to a certain extent, anyways. Seldom do two people of VASTLY different family experiences growing up have the common base needed to form a solid "union.") 2. Similar career goals? (I wouldn't want a younger woman who had any interest in being a trophy. I would want a woman to be driven to succeed in a field of endeavor she loves.) 3. Similar abilities to communicate? (A KEEN ABILITY TO TALK THINGS OUT IS IMPORTANT FOR PARTNERS OF ANY AGE, BUT EVEN MORESO WITH PARTNERS OF WIDER AGE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THEM.) 4. Similar personalities? (This idea ties in rather well with #3, but both partners would have to be willing to grow as people, and learn from each other, etc.) 5. Similar desires for family? (I want kids, and I don't know if I could ever be with someone who didn't. Of course, the timeframe would definitely be something both would need to work out) 6. Similar views on child rearing. (I can't see anything but chaos arising out of completely disparate viewpoints on raising kids, no matter what the partners ages might be). Some problems that could occur: 1. Different aged peer groups (can lead to problems with finding common ground socially). 2. Different aged partners might have same problem as above in #1. 3. Comments of the public/friends: The old "cradle robber" idea for him, and the "sugar daddy" idea for you. 4. Energy/vitality levels for the older person could be an issue if he can't "keep up" with you now, or especially in future. Being with even a little more weary older partner could become a drag in later years especially. 5. Different life experiences leading to problems raising family? (Younger adults today appear to have a wide variation in ideas on family, and taken along with the fact that how a family is being defined is changing daily, this could be an issue.) 6. Cohort cultural effects (Will you both like to listen to some music from both "age groups'" experiences, involve yourselves in activities you both like, and the like) 7. Life experience may lead to the old "I know this from experience" comment being made by him. -or- the "You don't understand the way it is today, things are a lot different than when you were a teenager." comment from you. Those types of perspectives will wear you both down a bit, after a while. I know I've missed things, and some things are positive and negative at the same time. Nonetheless, when it comes to people, everyone is different, and maturity is very much on a sliding scale. If and when you find that person with whom you share that special bond/rapport, age (up to a reasonable and appropriate limit) often becomes a secondary thing. Older men falling for younger women and vice versa, is not all about sex, as some would have you believe. I should know. I fell for a much younger woman whom I just felt that special feeling for, a woman that I could discuss and talk about anything with. We could laugh together, chat together, etc., and I never ever saw her merely as a piece of "young meat" I could eventually get with. Yes, I admit that I was attracted to her physically as well. HOWEVER, it went SO MUCH deeper than me just being attracted to her body...I was attracted to her spirit. I don't mourn the lack of a sexual relationship with her quarter as much as I mourn the lack of that intellectual and emotional closeness that we had. Perhaps I'm just strange. All I would suggest is that you both take PLENTY of time getting to know each other, and finding out what you are both all about, and want from life. Don't rush, but don't be afraid of getting into a relationship that, if it is for the right reasons, could turn out to be the most wonderful part of your lives.
  • Lina Quintanar (View Email) on April 1, 2004
    I personally am In a relationship with an older man and I've never been happier in my life. We had problems with meeting my parents but I'm 19 now and my parents trust my opinion he's 15 years older than me and that doesn't bother me why? Because he respects me and I've gotten to know him and were so much alike and have so many things that bring us together. And the best thing is that my parents love him and know I have picked the right guy. And I'm not setting an example but I'm just stating that: so what about age if you love him and you know he can be trusted and can respect you, and that you know he loves you why should age matter. I know there's the whole deal of what will people think what will my family think? But honestly your who you are and when you care about someone as much as I care for my boyfriend then age doesn't make a difference. I'm happy with him in my life and thats the best thing that could ever had happened to me. I thank god and I thank him for respecting me and showing me that even being different in any way shape or form when you love someone you can't deny that.
  • candace (View Email) on April 10, 2004
    this is too the person who wrote the lonely little hobo. you are so wrong i never had a father figure. And im dating a man who is 10 years older than me , and not having a father has nothing to do with me loving him . i met him through my brother who is 11 years older than me and my boyfriend knows i never had a father because he has known me for almost my whole life and he knows i love him for who he is. and not because i dont have a father so get your information straight.
  • Mika Collier (View Email) on April 30, 2004
    I think it is Ok for girls in high school to date older men. I have always been into older guys. Plus guys mature slower than women do so most wemon will go for older guys. I'm involved with an older guy right now.
    - mika collier
  • collier (View Email) on May 3, 2004
    To-mr.bob-
    I think that u are completly wrong. If a 24 year old wants to be with a younger guy he can. Plus if her parents are o.K. with it. Maybe he doesn't have his life stright it's his problem and he can fix it.
    I like older guys so I'll be with him if i want.
    -Mika collier
  • grace (View Email) on May 11, 2004
    i feel that boys in high school are just what they are....BOYS. they are not men. until they have had a real dose of struggle and hardship behind them in the real world, they can say they are men. until then, i would not recommend high school girls dating the same "wanting-to-get-laid-on-prom night" BOYS.
  • Kayla (View Email) on June 22, 2004
    I think its perfectly normal for younger chicks to date older guys. I am 17 and i am currently talking to a 35 year old. He is great. He is sweet, sexy, and sex isn't the only thing he thinks about. I was at school today talkin to some other girls about dating older men and all they could argue is "why do older men look at younger women anyway?" Well the reason they look to the younger women is because THEY ARE MALES. Duh! They are allowed to look at females the last time i checked. Is it a crime to be attracted to the opposite sex? As long as the person is mature enough to handle the relationship, what is the big deal? He hasn't pressured me into anything and he lets me say whatever i want whenever i want. I feel comfortable talking to him. I feel as if i have known him longer. He has got more experience with relatinships and has a good idea about what is needed to make a relationship work. And as some people on this site have immaturishly said, the reason a guy dates a younger girl is NOT because he can't get anyone his own age, it's because he doesn't want to. I have noticed that girls these days are becoming more mature and boys are becoming less mature....hmmmmm....which would you rather go for ladies???? Im sorry but i don't want to date someone who thinks that blowing bubbles in his soda is funny or someone who thinks they can get into your pants just because he bought you dinner or took you to prom. I want someone who can support me and who is gonna be there for me no matter what. A younger man is more tempted to (after a fight) go to a club and pick up someone and take them to the hotel. An older man is happy with what he has and doesn't want to lose her. My man would do a lot for me and its not just because he wants physical love... Its because he loves me for me! For all you people that think older guys who date younger girls are perverts, you are mistaken! And for all of you that say dating older men is the result of not having a father figure in your life, i think you are wrong bcuz i lived with my dad for 15 years bcuz he had custody of me....and it wasn't an abusive childhood either. I have had several bad experiences with younger guys and that is the reason i date older men....how bout you guys do some research before makin assumptions......? -Love u Humberto-
  • sarahi77009 (View Email) on June 29, 2004
    I dont think anybody here commenting on this should comment unless they are themselves are dating older men or if you have a son or daughter who is dating older men. I am 15 years old and im dating a 26 year old. I am dating someone who is 11 years older than me. In response to most of the comments made about this topic. I dont think a man who is with a younger girl is with her because He cant find anybody her age.....wants a virgin.....!! Totally bogus, i am with my man for 10 months, and if he was with me for just sex, then he would have left the first day i been given it up and he is still with me. Plans to marry in 3 years. He is stable has a career ahead of himself. I dont reconize age is just a number, but with age comes maturity. Sometimes a 15 can act like a 20 year and 20 year act like a 2 year old, I strongly believe in response to the topic WITH AGE COMES MATURITY,(IT WHAT YOU ARE READY FOR.(and just for the record my parents know what im doing and approve.)
  • britt on August 13, 2004
    I dont think that girls or guys should date SIGNIFICANTLY older people. im 15 and my boyfriend is 17 and my parents arent even ok with that... which is dumb cuz its not like hes in it for the 'benefits'. hes smart (wants to go to UC Davis), hes good at sports, hes funny; why would he waste his time on someone younger if he was just in it for benefits/sex.. we already talked about it and neither of us want to have sex till we're married so i know that for a fact. i wish my parents would read all that everyone on here has written... maybe theyd realize that you cant choose who you like/love.
  • Justine (View Email) on August 16, 2004
    I am a senior in high school. I'm 17 and only 6 months away from being 18, which is the age of majority in Florida. I have been in love with a man who is older than me by 10 years for a long time and he feels the same way towards me. I know that on the surface, it seems a bit extreme. However, in my opinion, age doesn't matter. As long as the two people love each other than nothing else should matter. Now, may I note that I do speak for myself. I believe that everybody's maturity levels differ. In my case, we both feel like we are on the same level of maturity and we love each other very much. We handle our relationship like adults. He knows that I'm not quite ready for sex and he totally respects me for that. He is been through college and is now a lawyer. He wants me to have the same opportunity for success. Now, I just don't see the problem in that.
  • Junior Ceirra D. on September 1, 2004
    I believe that younger girls dating older men is perfectly fine. In older days when the world was at a more calm state, age had no matter on relationships. Most people's great-grandparents are significantly different in age. And nothing was a problem.
  • Jennifer on September 4, 2004
    When I was 15, I dated a 33 year old for serveral months. It made me feel very mature and confident to have what seemed like the love and respect of someone so much older than me, and to in turn connect with him on a personal level. Slowly though, I started to realize that even on days when I was feeling especially "teenagerly" and going on and on about something trivial like a chior trip, he pretended to be just as interested in what I was saying as when I talked about my deepest insights on life. From there, everything just started to break down and I realized he had some serious issues and was just trying to get sex out of me. He may have felt like he was in his ealry 20's on a personal level, but underneath it he was still a man. I may have been mature, but not mature enough for someone with his ammount of experience. I was especially not mature enough to notice when he was using little tricks on me he'd built up from many years of dating. When I confronted him, it all became clear and we broke up. It's been three years, and I still have friendships with men and women over 30. It's just as gratifying for someone like me, who feels too mature to connect with people her own age, but not as much of an emotional risk as a romantic relationship. My new rule- never date anyone older than 1/3 my age. Any older than that, it won't kill me to just be friends with. I'd suggest other young girls dating older men to follow the same rule.
  • raven (View Email) on September 6, 2004
    in a way i dont think its wrong its the way you look at it
  • Tosha Carter (View Email) on September 7, 2004
    If you love some one then yes you should date the man that you love. I have a friend right now that is 17 and dating a 25 yeat old and the cops here were i live are trying to push statutory rape against this guy. which makes no sence to me because she was as will as him. so in other words let people make their own mistakes and let them learn from them.

  • Natalie (View Email) on September 9, 2004
    I dated a man that was 36 yearsold I am 30. We broke up. As soon as we broke up he was dating to girls that were 16 yearsold right out of highschool. I am scared that this guy has mental issues.
  • fred (View Email) on September 14, 2004
    I am a somewhat older man 27, and I have usualy dated older women. I recently broke up with my girl friend of 2 years who was 5 years older than me. I am thinking of seeing a girl 9 years younger than me who has expressed interest. she is still in high school and I might wait till she graduates but who knows. I have never dated any one that much younger but I feel that we are at close to the same place in life right now. I don't know mabe I am sick but only time will really tell. the only thing that makes me think it could be ok is that my parents are 10 years apart and still togather. they began dating when my mother was 18.
  • Tony (View Email) on September 15, 2004
    I personally think love knows no age. Im a 22 year old guy and if I a high school girl wanted to date me then I would most likely give her a chance depending on her maturity level, but that being said I also don't think the relationship should be sexual. I personally don't think many people who are high school age are truly ready for a sexual relationship even if they think they are. (I know I might get some rebuttles on that comment but I dont care). I also think there is a degree of truth to the girls seeking father figures in dating older men especially if the man is old enough to be the girls father (eg. about 20+ years older than the girl).
  • darrell (View Email) on September 19, 2004
    Okay, how about this. What if a 30 year old female wants to get involved in a serious relationship with a 51 year old man she works with? This is true by the way. I need help on this one.
  • Emma Van Reed (View Email) on September 23, 2004
    Hey, I DISAGREE with everyone who says to date people their own age or close. I am 16 years old...in college already. I have started my life have a good job and I am dating a man who is 34 years old. We have been together about a year and a half now. We have everything in common. He is a hairdresser and I am going to school to be a fashion designer. I am in love with this guy extremely and I can't see being with ANYONE ELSE. its not an infatuation thing but I truly believe I have met the man I will marry. He has 2 kids...5 months, and 5 years with another women but those kids are like my own. The only problem IS...MY parents thik I am the babysitter...We are waiting to tell them when I turn 18 so I will be on my own and they can't tear us apart but I love my parents and I want to respect what they think is right and wrong, but i DON'T KNOW HOW TO TELL THEM...ANY IDEAS ANYONE???
  • AMIE (View Email) on October 21, 2004
    NO it is absolutely wrong!

    My sister is now 37 yrs old but when she was 16 an older man was preying on her. My parents didn't find out until she was almost 18. Shortly after her 18th birthday she married this man 17 years her senior. She thought they would be finacally secure but what she didn't realize was this man was a great con artist. Within less than a year they both took bankruptcy thanks to no fault of her own, other than being ignorant.
    She went through many years of anquish due to this horrible marriage. The worst thing is the kids. This man had 3 children from his 1st marriage and never paid attention to them why would he pay attention to their own children? She divorced him and has moved on with her life for the better. But all the children in this true story, all 6, want nothing to do with their father because he wanted nothing to do with them. He lost big, but nothing can ever make up for the loss he gave them as an absent father. GIRLS wake-up! Look at all the signs, question things that make you go hmmm, when something seems odd it probably is. These so called "men" must have real issues, low self esteem or a need for control if they have to resort to a much younger woman to fill the void.

    Now I am faced with and issue I never thought I would have to deal with. My X-husband is dating a girl that is 20 ...he is 40. That is a 20 years difference if you haven't already noticed. He and I have have 4 children together. Our oldest daughter is 19. For me personally I think this is SICK. For some reason I thought maybe he dating her for vain reasons, like she was attractive but I have ruled that out.
    If the shoe were on the other foot I know people would view it differently.
    I'm 39 and my boyfriend would be 19 ...how does that sound?? I'm sure most of you think it sounds sick but its the same difference between my X and this girl. There would be a double standard for us women. I think this is borderline perverted!
    All I have to say is girls look deep into what you are getting. YOU may get much more than you bargained for.
  • Amie on October 21, 2004
    EMMA~~ I have a great idea RUN FAST!!

    I know you say you are in love and you think you are very mature but you need to look deep into this mans soul. He sounds like a wack. He has a 5 yr old? You are closer to his childs age than his. I know you are still very young but think abou this one. What would you think if you had a daughter that was 16 doing the same thing you are doing. Tell me when you do because you want have the same answer. What is wrong with him mentally that he has to resort to a child (no disrespect) for a relationship.
    You deserve a good life. Not an already made family. Dont let him cheat you of this. I think these men selfish people.
    I do hope you figure it all out before it's much too late..GOOD LUCK
  • rainel (View Email) on October 25, 2004
    I do not think it is ok for highschool girls to date men out of highschool however...it depends on the age difference! I couple of years is ok. There is a 46 year old man who really wants to marry me and I am only 23. It might not be that great in 10 or 20 years when I would still be pretty young and well, he would be ready for a nursing home. You just have to use your own good judgement!!!!
  • Danielle Bowen (View Email) on October 27, 2004
    I think high school girls should date an older guy for the simple fact that they can learn new things in life but when it comes to having sex I think that should be talked about between the female and older guy. I dont think anyone should be prerssured to doing anything they dont want to do.
  • eddie (View Email) on October 30, 2004
    I feel that age is just a number. My girlfriend is 18 and I am 43. Yes most of you would say pervert, but no. I know what I want and so does she. We are both comfortable with our decision and accept the age difference.
  • Natalie (View Email) on October 31, 2004
    I feel that it is ok for a woman to date an older man. I believe that both people to be involved in the relationship should consider what they want in the relationship and decide if they are both ready.
    There are several women between 16-24 who are up to the maturity level of someone say in their mid 30's because of this they should not be forbiden to date someone of an equal maturity level. I personally am 18 currently and have dated men in their late 30's because I am closer to their maturity level than the maturity level of men closer to my age.
  • Jayla Mitchell on November 4, 2004
    I think girls should not date guys who are way older then them because its like this all that guy really wants is one thing and girls who date older guys don't seem to realize that until they end up being raped or in the hospital. Girls should really be more wiser and they need to think about what they are getting theirselves into.
  • crystal on November 8, 2004
    I am 15 and currently dating a 19-year-old. i dont see anythign wrong with it ... but im not saying i would go any higher than that. it all depends on the person. there are different kinds of guys... some that just want one thing and guys that actually care. i am often asked why i dont date someone my own age but when guys my age dotn know how to treat anyone then why would i . not sayin that there arent some nice guys in my age range but i havent found any. my guy is responsible... a full time college student... respectful and has never pressured me to have sex with him ,ive been with him for 1 year. if a guy that age can hold out to not have/pressure a younger girl to have sex with him is definitly worth my time. he has even set me on hte right track .... i quit doing drugs smoking cigarettes and am doing very well in school . its ok of course to state your opinion about something but to go on and talk crap about it is ridiculous , that person most likely had no clue about what they are talkin about and should lighten up.
  • MYIRA (View Email) on November 16, 2004
    I met my man when I was 15

    I'm 17 now and my boyfriend is 24
    anit nothing really worng with it age aint nothing but a numba cause i'm doing what any other 20-26 year old female is doing I got a job car every thing but people still people see some thing wrong with it my mom and dad said they anit having it but my mom is 39 and my step dad is 28 so anit nothing wrong with that you see { my mom tried to send my boyfriend to jail i told her it wasn't gonna work like i'm going take a test to send my baby to jail or even say we were together in the first place she tried me anyways I couldn't see him for a long time every body telling me it was wrong and that was about {may/4/02} and I still talk too him to this day baby!!!!!! anit no stoping me {I love hime}!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Pandora (View Email) on November 26, 2004
    I really don't think it's a great idea for a girl to date a guy that is a lot older than her.Perhaps there are special circumstances where it would work and if the guy isn't forcing her to do anything too sexual or that she doesn't want to do. Other than that, she's only looking for trouble, I know from experiance.
  • Brad Pitt (View Email) on November 30, 2004
    I don't see anything wrong with a younger girl dating an older man. Since the beginning of time it has been that way, it's today's society with its forced morality that frowns on it. In many countries it is a normal practice.
  • unknown (View Email) on December 12, 2004
    yes i think its appropiate for a older man to like a younger girl because i think all men have their different reasons for liking a younger girl i don't think that they only choose younger girls because they want to have control if you have feelings for that person then it should'nt matter at all because who ever a man chooses to be with,date or whateva you call it its none of anyone else's business
  • Josh (View Email) on December 17, 2004
    I am 31 male. I have had a relationship with a girl that was 15 years younger. Greatest time Ive had for a long time. I know I can find someone my age but I just dont want too for a couple reasons. First when most girls are 30 they are fat or way out of shape and 2nd when she is thirty somehow they jump 10 yrs in looks. They look too be all worn out and ready to retire life.#rd Younger girls still want to go have fun like camping traveling and just staying home too watch a movie and spend time together.4th Younger girls enjoy spending her time to an older guy. Thats why I would date some one younger. Age is just a number. If calenders were never invented then no one would know their age.
  • unknown (View Email) on January 1, 2005 at 6:38 PM
    im personally the type of person who thinks age is nothing but a number. as long as both people are happy i dont see anything wrong with it.
  • Unknown on January 2, 2005 at 2:54 AM
    Here's what I think in a nutshell. I think age is irrelevant as long as two people are old enough to marry. If our society wants to make it "inappropriate" for a 50-year old men to "hit on" 18-year olds, then make the relationship illegal. As long as the law recognizes a relationships as "valid" than society should honor it. People's reasons for wanting to have a particular relationships are personal, individual, and none of anybody else's business. Many people have found happiness across age spans of 10+, 20+ and even 30+ years. Look at Woody Allen, as scandalized as he's been. Despite all the negative publicity, his young bride is now his longest lasting relationship, and the first woman in four decades he's loved enough to marry and stay married to. They are now minding their own business, happily raising a family, and nobody talks about them anymore. Ideally, as a rule of thumb, I think large age gaps should be between couples who are both 21+, but love is an individual thing and I don't feel people should be bullied by social taboos. Honor the law, and honor people who obey it! You don't necessarily have to agree with people's choices, but you have to respect them!
  • Laura on January 3, 2005 at 2:37 PM
    I have been dating a guy who is six years older than me for 2 1/2 years and couldn't be happier. Age is nothing more than a number and if two people are willing to understand that than there is nothing wrong. However, I am aware that my circumstance is much different than a typical "dating an older guy" situation.
  • Dessie (View Email) on January 4, 2005 at 11:33 PM
    As long as itís legal, does it matter? Society has changed drastically in this area. Personally I think as long as both parties are happy, thereís no problem. Our society is way to judgmental, in this area among others.
    In Americaís past it was a normal thing. In other cultures an everyday thing. Why do people insist on making such a big deal over it? Why do you want to bug in on someone elseís life, itís not yours why do you care? You choose what you find offensive, and if you do, ignore it.
    True I may be biased. My Mom was 20 years younger than my Dad. My Grandmother was 17 years younger than my Grandfather. And my current B/F and I have a rather large age gap not found socially acceptable. And if that bugs you, deal with it, seems to me we should care more about starving children than a few years diffrence in dating couples anyways.
  • Jeff (View Email) on January 7, 2005 at 10:32 PM
    I am against this, I have my sister in law who lives with us, she just turned 17 and I have found out that she is dating someone who is going to be 20 real soon.

    I have spoke with the male who is 20 and told him that it is wrong, as he is an adult and she is still a teen.
  • elise (View Email) on January 12, 2005 at 8:24 PM
    I have a 17 year old friend and she is dating a 32 year old. I am so upset with her. There is something wrong with a guy if they have to get someone way younger that them to date them. All you guys out there that are dating HIGH SCHOOLERS, are SICKOS!!!!!
  • shani (View Email) on January 13, 2005 at 3:14 PM
    I think it is okay for people to date older guys. I personally beleive that age is nuthin but a number. Plus i'm in love with
    a 28 year old and i'm 17. THe guy is not a pervert he is very much sane. He offers me things in life such as happiness and insight that i may not have experienced with a younger guy.
  • Bri Bri on January 26, 2005 at 12:20 AM
    Okay i personally don't really think that there is something wrong with a younger girl liking an older guy. And im not just saying that because im 17 and like a guy who is 29. I've known him im since i was 13 when i started helping out my dad at his restaurant. But i didn't really talk with him untill this year when i was working there over the summer. Yeah he may be turning 30 years old but he does not act like that he doesn't even look like it i thought that he was like 20 years old before he told me his real age. I have found it very nice talking with him because he encourages me to follow my dreams and i encourage him to go back to college (he dropped out) and now he is considering to start applying to colleges once i start applying next school year. right now i only get to see him twice a month when i go to the restaurant but we only get to talk a little since he has to go to work. I've talked to my friend about him and she told him not to like him like i do because he is older than me and that she think its wrong, but i think that it up to the two people if they truely think that its right and have good intentions that its okay to go out with each other.
  • jodi wongler (View Email) on January 27, 2005 at 1:38 PM
    I am a 15 year old and I am going out with a 28 year old. We love each other a lot and I think that if the person treats you good and loves you then there is nothing wrong with it.
  • Gabriela Cervantes (View Email) on January 31, 2005 at 12:54 PM
    I HAVE A FRIEND THAT IS 16 YEARS OLD,TURNING 17 IN 4 MONTHS,AND SHE IS GOING OUT WITH 23 OLD, TURNING 24 IN 10 MONTHS.SHE IS MY BEST FRIEND,WE KNOW ECH OTHER FOR YEARS AND I DON WANT HER TO GET IN TROUBLE WITH THE POLICE OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. IS THAT AN ILLEGAL RELATIONSHIP IN THE STATE OF MARYLAND?
  • Lucie (View Email) on February 3, 2005 at 8:25 AM
    What the majority of people here fail to realize is the fact that there are 17 year olds (Namely, myself) who are most likely more mature than most adults. If a younger girl feels like she is in love with someone significantly older than her, who is to say it's wrong? Age really is just a number, and it just may be that there is no one that truly understands her or is at her maturity level in her own age group.
    I myself am 17, and have had to face a lot of responsibilities that most girls and boys my age won't have to worry about until they're 30 or so. Kids my age just don't understand things as an older man would.

    All in all, it all comes down to how both people in the relationship FEEL. And when I say feel, I don't mean those sort of lusty feelings, but genuine care and a connection on a deep level. And besides, no one should tell you it's not love, or that you don't know what love is. Everyone defines it quite differently.
  • Lucie (View Email) on February 5, 2005 at 2:28 AM
    I would also like to add that a lot of the comments above are really quite biased, as I realize mine are as well. But I honestly don't think that it's ANYONE's place to judge a man or woman (Or, young girl, for that matter) whether they are being viewed as "fresh meat". That is simply ridiculous and anyone could be viewed as that, not just a young girl by an older man.

    I admit, there are some very troubled older men out there that do like to prey on younger women. But that also works the other way around.

    And another thing; just because an older man chooses to date a younger woman, that does not mean that there is "something wrong with him". Nor does it mean that young girls should avoid older men for fear of "getting hurt".

    Men and women of all ages get in hurt in various sorts of relationships. Personally, I've been hurt more by boys when I dated them in highschool. They tend to be insecure and generally immature; and I'm stating a majority here. I realize that people of all ages can be immature.

    Relationships are big part of our life as human beings, whether we realize it or not. Should one be unhappy for the rest of their lives, simply because society states that it is taboo for you to be with anyone other than the person that shares your birthdate? I'm not one to push the idea of soulmates on anyone, but if you find that one true person that you can confide in, trust, and connect on levels you never thought possible, does something so obscure as a birthday REALLY matter?
  • DeAna Taylor (View Email) on February 7, 2005 at 12:37 PM
    This question is too broad. The answer would depend on what the person who asked the question means when they say "significantly older".....Significantly older is different ages for many people.
  • Beth (View Email) on February 9, 2005 at 9:28 PM
    When a person reaches 18 they are classed as an adult and if they date an older adult that's their choice. Some older men may take advantage of younger girls so they'll have to be careful. If there's a large age gap it can be difficult as they will have different views on life as the older man will have more life experience but it could be possible for them to fall in love and if they are both honest etc a relationship could work. You can't help who you fall in love with as the saying goes.
  • Mandy on February 10, 2005 at 12:57 PM
    i think its ok for older guys to date younger girls because right now i am in highschool and i am dating an older guy who my parents love to bits and i love him and he loves me 2 :D so yea i think it is fine but hes like 5 years older but if the guy is like 10 years or so then i agree its nasty :S
  • bear on February 15, 2005 at 11:02 AM
    I think that there is nothing wrong with an older man dating a younger girl. I am 18 and my boyfriend is 28. He gives me so much support and i love him dearly. A lot of my family dont support our relationship but who cares. My mom loves him his mom loves me and thats all that matters.Further more, who cares what everyone has to say.Im in love and im happy and age is nothing but a number. All men that date younger girls are not sick or crazy. My man is not after sex and when we feel ready we will go there.
  • Stella on February 18, 2005 at 3:03 PM
    Is it wrong to go out with a guy that is 3 years younger then the girl?
  • robert stearns (View Email) on February 18, 2005 at 3:29 PM
    Me personally do not just look at the age differance, but the true reason why a male wants that person in their life. For instance if a 19yr old female or older would want to have me who is 38, I would go for it. Not all men just want a female in their life for just the sex, but to truly care and cherish that persons life. Before 1940 they always dated at different age differances and relationships lasted a lot longer then what they do today, now why's that? People need to look back in history to find what worked and why things aren't working today. Maybe because people were closer to the bible beliefs then what they are today!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • jenn y (View Email) on February 18, 2005 at 4:23 PM
    i am dating an older guy who is 26 yrs.old but yet we have never been pressured into anything i have been mature for my age all my life and we've been together for a year. dating an older man doesn't always mean he's after you for sex or control. i control alot of the situations in our relationship and if we've been involved it's due to my own decision. personally age doen't matter if love is truly there.
  • marcus (View Email) on February 23, 2005 at 3:56 AM
    im a 19 year old freshmen in college and my gf is 14. I can get probaly any girl i choose. But shes different i really really lover her. What should I do?
  • Lucie on February 25, 2005 at 3:09 PM
    What should you do, Marcus? First off, you sound a tad arrogant and with that attitude I don't think you can "get any girl you choose".
  • Jill on February 28, 2005 at 8:25 PM
    i think that it is fine with in like a 4 year span. if a 16 is with a 20 it will not be a big deal when the are 42 and 46
  • luigi (View Email) on March 12, 2005 at 4:49 PM
    me personally,I don't see anything wrong with it. I believe a 16 yr. girl could be mature enough for a relationship. It's about love,not sex. I believe one of the reasons some men prefer younger girls,it's because ,older women have too much baggage,younger girls are usually nicer,sweeter,and more innocent. This may sound sick to some people,but bare with me for a moment,I'd be the first one to say a man in his thrties is too old for a 16yr. girl,but a man in his twenties,if he still feels young inside,why not?...the law,?Let me tell you,some men are willing to risk it all when they fall in love,but not me,and too much of a coward,and I'm afraid of the law,for me is 18 or older only.
  • Rizzle (View Email) on March 13, 2005 at 6:56 PM
    I believe if two people are in love then age difference shouldn't be a factor. I am a 33 year old male and in love with a 17 year old female. We have been going out for the past four months and it has been the greatest four months of my life. She treats me like I am most important person in her life and I only hope I make her feel the same way. I constantly let her know that I am not in this for the sex. In fact, she has told me that wants to wait until marriage to have sex which I will wait as long as it takes. She means so much to me and I want her to be with me forever.
  • Fluffy (View Email) on March 13, 2005 at 6:58 PM
    Through personal experience, I find it perfectly fine if a respectable older man dates a younger female. My boyfriend is 33 and I am 17. We have a wonderful relationship and I love him very much. He respects my personal views way more than past teenager boyfriends. I know when I am with him there is no pressure to do things I do not want to do. Many teenage boys have one thing on there mind and do not treat a lady properly. If a relationship is based on love, trust, understanding, and respect- who is anyone to judge.

    Many people do not understand 'large age differnce' relationships and jump to rash decisions. If people took the time to get to know a couple and look past age, this question of it being appropriate would not exist. Sometimes people think it is healther for a highschool girl to date a highschool boy because they assume older men would pressure a girl into sex, when it quite the opposite.

    So, just keep an open mind, you would be surprised what you could learn.

    I would like to end saying.. "I love you, cookie monster" lol
  • Vicki on March 17, 2005 at 1:08 PM
    i think that it's realy ok for an older guy to date young women when thier in love. i know you think that they are most likely to get taken advantage of but thats not necessary all true. once you find out that yo'r in love with someone you'll realize then how much you were wrong bc chances are you'r not going to be with someon your age most likely he or she will be at least 6 yr apart. and you cant say it's rape bc you'r agrreeing to have sex with him or plan on being with him forever meaning you want to start a family with him
  • Luigi (View Email) on March 20, 2005 at 7:21 PM
    Well,we've been talking about this a long time,and some people say it's ok,some say it's not ok,it seems that a large number of females are ok with it,which kinda surprises me,but what we all seem to forget is the law!!I mean you could think whatever you want ,like ''yeah,age is just a number''or...''if there is love it's ok'',but,what's gonna happen when you go to jail??have you thought about that?if it's ilegal,then it's ilegal,now I heard about if the parents give the parental conscent ,then it's ok,but I'm still confused about how the law works and stuff. I say it's too risky and not worth it.
  • Holly (View Email) on March 21, 2005 at 8:31 PM
    I'm somewhat torn on this issue. I say it's ok, if the age gap isn't outrageous (20+ years), and it isn't between a 20 something and a kid (even if they think they are 'mature'), who is still in high school. As for me, I'm 19, and I've been dating a 28 year old for about 5 months now.

    I contantly have doubts about whether or not I should be with this person, because he is so much older than me - even though he is a really great guy. He's been nothing but good to me, always honest, very sweet and loving, and we have a lot of fun together. Despite all of that, I still have these nagging doubts in the back of my head that just won't go away. I'm afraid of what my family will think about it. I've told them that he's 24. He tells his family that I'm 20. And we live in a college town, but we can't really go out to the bars together because I can't legally drink yet. Superficial, I know, but still...it's a difficult situation. I'm so confused about what to do.
  • Marie (View Email) on March 22, 2005 at 7:19 PM
    well I am 17 almost 18 in a couple months. I just started dating a guy who just turned 23 I dont think there is a problem with dating older guys at all. I am still a virgin and Im not having sex till Im married and hes totally fine with that. I dont think its nasty. However a 17 year old with a 30 year old or something is wrong. You have some problems if thats what ur doing.
  • j (View Email) on March 23, 2005 at 10:51 PM
    I have had experience with this whole age gap situation. I lost my first love, of two years, she is 18, to a 25 year old man. she went with him because she could drink, and i guess hes a smooth talker (or just perverted, and she is obviously very immature) she was always known as the "good girl", christian and family-loving. we were always great together, until she got this job and met the older dirtbag bartender there. She broke up with me soon after, and destroyed our intermingled family bonds we had as well as our "first and only love", she slept with him right away.since then, i am torn, as i always was in love with her, her family and her life. My devotion was tiresome, and obviously useless.
  • NiceGuy on April 8, 2005 at 11:46 AM
    I'm 24, the girl I am dating is 17, is there any problems with that? Yeah, shes still in high school, but thats only an 8 year difference, and her mother and fsther approve of me, so whats the problem?
  • Freshmen, Jocelyn on April 18, 2005 at 1:50 PM
    "I think it is okay to be dating someone who is older than you, bcuz I am a freshmen in highschool, I have known this guy since I was very little and we have always loved each other but never realized how much until last year.He is always there for me and I am always there for him, his parents and mine are bestfriends so we are together all the time, I think girls should date whoever they feel comfortable being with, dont be with someone who you get a bad vibe from, then your just asking for trouble bcuz there are some weird men out there, you just have to know whos for real or not"
  • troy (View Email) on April 25, 2005 at 5:00 AM
    hi,i'm 30 and i'm dating a 19 yrs old girl,we are both in love and planning to get married. the only problem i'm have is that j feel that my girl is too young for me
  • Crystal on April 26, 2005 at 11:33 AM
    I personally dont think there is any thing wrong with a older guy having something to do with a younger girl. I am a 17 year girl and my boyfriend is 27 years old. We have been together now for going on 5 months and he repects me alot. There is no pressure on our relationship about sex. He respects my wishes about waiting until we get married. It dont matter how old the guy is they all have a choice about what kind of person they want to be.
  • Dawn (View Email) on May 15, 2005 at 9:03 PM
    i think it is ok for a younger girl to date and older guy and vice-versa. I personally date older guys, and we do it because they are more mature and know how to treat a girl. But i think you should be atleast 16 or so before you start dating older guys because anyone younger than that doesnt really need to be in a relationship at all.
  • Ali (View Email) on May 27, 2005 at 5:47 PM
    I'm 14 and I'm dating a man 31 years of age he's really great, we get along really well and plan on getting married when I'm done with high school. Our relationship is healthy and is definitely not a secret to the world. You may think it is odd, but sometime God just works in very mysterious ways, not sometimes, all the time.
  • Tonya Leanne (View Email) on June 2, 2005 at 6:56 PM
    There is nothing wrong with dating an older guy. From 15 to 37 ...19 to 58..Who cares? It is their decision righT? They are the one who has to look at that person all the time not you... so who cares. Let them be..Im just mad. lol..not many ppl accept young girls with older guys, but I just don't see the problem!
  • Britt (View Email) on June 5, 2005 at 2:51 PM
    If it's legal it's none of anybody else's business.
  • TAYLOR (View Email) on June 13, 2005 at 3:37 PM
    HEY WHAT IS YOUR NAME?
  • CC on June 23, 2005 at 7:47 PM
    hey im 11 years old and my boy friend 12 years old.but i like this 15 year old but im not sure if my mom will let me go out with him if he likes me.

    -CC
    P.S- what scould i do
  • Ron Watkins (View Email) on June 27, 2005 at 2:43 PM
    I agree with what some of the girls have said about it being insignificant what the ages of two people are. I think if a girl meets a guy who is a lot older than her that she really cares about, feels respects her and appreciates her, she should pursue a relationship with him if she chooses. I think this phobia about girls dating guys who are a lot older stems from the fact that parents still cloak sexuality in mystery and a sense of shame rather than addressing it frankly with their children and equipping them at a much earlier age with the tools to make healthier decisions--sexually and otherwise. As long as a girl understands the difference between being taken advantage of and being loved by someone older, there should be no reason why someone young cannot have a healthy, loving relationship with someone significantly older. I am personally attracted to women a lot younger than myself and could never imagine treating one in a way that was not in her best interest. I think I would be a lot healthier and more loving for most of these girls than many of the "boys" their age they often end up dating.
  • pedro on June 29, 2005 at 12:28 AM
    Hey, I think there's nothing wrong, for anybody to date somebody else that is older or younger than you. If you have good intentions, thats' all it matters right? I have just met this girl, she's so beautiful, smart and so different. The problem is that I'm 18 and she's 15, we're just friends right now but she keeps asking me to go out, to start a relationship, I don't know what to do, I just don't want to go to jail, but at the same time I'm starting to feel something for her, I just can't do anything about this, I can't stop thinking about her. If love is a crime, I guess most of us would got to go to jail. THANKS
  • freshman stacey ray (View Email) on June 30, 2005 at 8:45 PM
    i dont see anything wrong with girls dating older men!why would i?as long as the guy doesnt cross any lines she dont wanna cross theres nottin wrong with it!im a freshmen and im goin out wit a jr!i only see somin wrong wit it if its like a freshmanin h.s and a freshmen in college!i mean 14 and 19!so im me @mlover91@aol.com if u wanna discuss this!(sry cant spell)
  • Freshman-Kaitlyn (View Email) on July 5, 2005 at 10:41 PM
    I think its okay for a younger woman to like an older man. Im 15 and I have a lot of feelings for this older guy (27). I know this age gap is big, but I think it could work out. But I do think I should wait till Im 18 or so, till we date. I dont think age should be the problem. Its how you feel about the person and what you want in life. If you really love that person, why not? You only have one life. I personally would like to live it the way I want to. It might take a while and maybe even hurt some people, but I think its worth it. I guess I'll just have to see where life takes me. Good luck too everyone else thats in my situation too!
  • kamydriyona Washington (View Email) on July 18, 2005 at 12:42 PM
    I am 16 years old,and guys my age do not attract me not even a little. Why should i have to date them when deep down i know it wouldn't work. plus guys my age only want the sex and not a real relationship. It is only a problem when the female is sure of herself and the guy force himself on her.I will never stop dating older guys as long as they want to date me.
  • judelaleendra (View Email) on August 2, 2005 at 3:26 AM
    i love it
  • David (View Email) on August 15, 2005 at 9:57 AM
    HI, I'm an older guy and I don't have a problem with younger girls dating older men. Us older guys are more respective of young women. Younger guys are so immature, and young girls love to have the attention that an older guy will give.
  • ron (View Email) on September 2, 2005 at 2:38 AM
    its ok if u want it
  • robert (View Email) on September 8, 2005 at 1:36 PM
    for years i looked for ladies in my age group that still wanted kids. im now 46 still want kids... i met someone she is only 22.. i now cant seem to live without her in my life we had been conversing online for about a year i went to meet her in person and we are now engaged..my family did shake there heads then decided whatever makes me happy then its ok...we have never had sex as she wants to wait till married and im ok with that.. its her love and affection i need not the sex. at first i thought the age difference was to much but i love her to much to worry about that.
  • jakolope (View Email) on September 18, 2005 at 2:30 PM
    Im 41 and in love with a 15 year old i have known here for over a year we havent had sex yet not important righ tnow ,but the togetherness and talk and being with each other is awesome she reall ymakesme crazy even though i live in ontario canada and she in ohio its ok the time apart is crazy cause we wantot see each other regularly we just click i guess
    i love her whole heartidly
  • Eva (View Email) on October 1, 2005 at 7:17 AM
    As a teenage gal myself, I would consider older men for sexual relationships/fantasies. I dont know why but I've always felt that way. I prefer men 35-45. Maybe its because they appreciate women more and they know to please. For a long-term stable romantic relationship someone in the same age range would be best.
  • megan (View Email) on October 6, 2005 at 2:38 AM
    I'm 18 years old and my boyfriend is 33 going on 34 in a couple of weeks, I believe that if your still in high school you should'nt be messing with any type of relationship but if one falls in your lap like mine did you should be able to tell him that school is your number one priority at the moment and if he doesnt like it then he's not someone you should want to be with. If you have feelings like i have when im with my boyfriend it shouldnt matter how old he is and how old you are, if you love someone then you should'nt worry about anything else.
  • Rillian (View Email) on October 6, 2005 at 2:16 PM
    These days (and only in the U.S. there's this odd stigma about only dating close to your age. It's not that way in any other country and in older times people married around puberty. Historically even the parents of Jesus were thought to be young (Mary is assumed to have been about 13). Now obviously there are HUGE differences sometimes when you spread out ages, but when you're talking about high school, it depends on your age (every year counts at that age) and character. As well as his, is he just after something young for the sake of it or for some perversion, or does he really love the girl. Some things are appropriate and some things aren't. It's just going to vary. It doesn't surprise me that some people here were automatically opposed to it. One person even said, "over 5 years" as though that's anything at all. I'm sorry but if someone is 23 or 27, can you please tell me what the difference is? There are 22 year olds that are infinitely more marture than a 50 year old. It just dpends on the person. Five years...sheesh. It's odd how Americans (and I am one for the record) are these days. Why do they have to be so close? It's never been that way before and it's not that way anywhere else and probably won't stay that way. Just something in some people's heads. They don't fully understand it themselves, they were just taught it. I think it's fine in an appropriate situation and depending on the people.
  • Justin Fiorenzio (View Email) on October 31, 2005 at 2:33 PM
    True love is ageless if you really look at
    thruogh the heart of the matter
  • Ariel Keaton (View Email) on November 9, 2005 at 10:34 AM
    No, because you can't help who you like. Maybe someone like an underclassman in college. But anyone older that could pass who your dad is just nasty. I speak from experience. It just depends on the girls age to determine if a man is to old for you. Teenage girls like older mature men. I don't like dating boys my age.
  • Paula (View Email) on November 10, 2005 at 9:29 PM
    I am not a Blair student, but I came upon your website looking for statistics on this topic. I am a highschool senior with a child.
    my sons father is 34 years old and we are not together. Since discovering I was pregnant at 14 I have been the one who has taken 100% responsibility for our actions. I have always dated older men because I do not relate to "boys" my age. But don't think for a second that bacause a guy is older he is more mature. A mature man would have the desire to have a "woman" and not a "girl" to manipulate.
  • LaShay (View Email) on November 28, 2005 at 8:02 PM
    I,m a highschool girl dating a older man, and I've had a few problems with him, and have told him i would leave him if things didn't change, and they didn,t so i left him. Sooner or later he asked me back out, and I said yeah, and now I set the Boundaries
  • George (View Email) on December 5, 2005 at 12:43 PM
    I understand the purpose of the laws in which govern our youth, but what I do not understand is why our government believes the only people who pose threats to younger Females/Men are older Men and Woman. Have we taken a look at our younger youth these days? People within the same age group are more likely to have sexual relationships without penalty than younger/older couples. We all fear older persons to take advantage of the younger persons, but is that always the case? I guess my point is we are so worried about age, that we have overlooked the real problems. Love is love and if itís true it shouldnít be governed by age. We are all free humans and should be free to make our own decisions.
  • Sashay (View Email) on December 7, 2005 at 12:28 AM
    I am doing a debate on this exact same subject in my English class and I would love if you guys could send any other information or your opinions to me. It will be greatly appreciated!!!
  • Christine Krause (View Email) on December 13, 2005 at 12:50 PM
    There was once a time when I would've thought that dating a guy who is anymore than 4 years older than me just wasn't right. I'll be 18 in 5 months, and I have a boyfriend who will be 27 in 4 days. I'm sure right off the bat you guys are like "this girl is crazy and that's never going to work out". Maybe you're right, but over the past year and 6 months, I guess I've been led to believe that things will work out. I was the first female he ever brought home to meet his family, the first girl he told he loved and pretty much his only serious girlfriend ever. It may be because I've always been a little bit more mature than others of my age, or maybe that I met him in a mature work place where we were both employed at the time, but no matter what I'm his life. He's been doing everything for me since we've been together and has pressured me or argued with me for or about anything that would lead me to believe that he isn't completely and utterly in love with me. I'm a part of his entire family, all of his friendships and his whole life. I think there are some situations, that were just meant to be.
    -Senior Christine Krause
  • Liz (View Email) on December 29, 2005 at 1:49 AM
    When i was 16 i was dating this guy who was 23. my parents put him in jail, and now i'm 18 and he's 25 and we ar still together and we love eachother! I dont think it's wrong for a young lady to have an older boyfriend.
  • Anthony (View Email) on January 6, 2006 at 2:33 AM
    I don't know about high school girls, but I find myself much more attracted to young girls than I do girls my own age. I am a 31 year old guy; 31 year old women don't interest me at all. What can I say!
  • Briana (View Email) on January 18, 2006 at 8:30 PM
    OK, first off, i would like to say that i am an 18 year old college freshmen. The guy that i am dating is 32, going to be 33 in 2 months. About 4 months before we met, i was just getting out of a 4 year relationship. We were high school sweethearts, he was only 2 years my senior. He was physically, emotionally, and sexually abusive towards me. The thing that really pisses me off is that no matter how many people saw what was going on, NO ONE TRIED TO STOP IT. Now, i am with a guy that is 14 years older than me and a lot of people have come forward and have tried to stop it. HOW MESSED UP IS THAT!?

    Now, i think that it doesnt matter how big of an age difference there is, as long as you both are happy. I think that as long as you are 18 and out of high school you are free to make your own decisions, whether they are good or bad. No matter how mature you think you are, i think that you are still very immature when you are still in high school.
  • Nina (View Email) on January 24, 2006 at 2:35 PM
    I think its fine for high school girls to date older guys .. as long as their not too much older than them.. High school guys are too immature.. I personally love dating older guys bc they treat me better... Ive been dating a 19 yr old and im 14 for about 5 months.. and this is the happiest realationship ive been in for a while.!!
  • Jason on January 27, 2006 at 8:57 PM
    To all of you younger girls who are dating older men, how did you meet? How did the relationship come to be? I know that alot of young girls are immature, but there are quite a few 18,19 year old girls who are very mature and focused; not all goofy and bubbly like the stereotype. That's the kind of girl I like.
  • Ashley (View Email) on January 29, 2006 at 9:03 PM
    I think itís appropriate for high-school girls to date older men because age shouldn't matter in a realationship. Age is just a number. If you care for someone older then why should it matter.
  • Danielle Brooks (View Email) on February 3, 2006 at 11:55 AM
    well i am 15 and a freshman and the guy that i am inlove with is 25 but he likes me too but we are 11 years apart he is 25 but should that really matter i have know him since i ws 8 years old and we have started to get closer as i grew up is that so wrong? he always tell me that we are gonna hook up hook up actually be boyfriend and girlfriend when i turn 18 and i always say thats great and always tells me he loves me and we flirt like all the time i really want to know how wwrong i am for bein in love with a guy 11 year solder than me
    Signed
    Confused
  • cheeks (View Email) on February 14, 2006 at 5:15 PM
    i dont see a problem with dating older guys. most are more mayture than high school boys and dont think only about sneakers. when i was a freshman, my boyfriend was 22 and only because he thought i was 17. i told him the truth about a month later but we were to far in love to quit. now that im a senior, all of my boyfriends have been in their twenties because thats who im attracted to. My boyfriend now is 29 and we've been together for a year. You cant control who you fall in love with. Thats up to nature to decide.
  • Linzie (View Email) on March 28, 2006 at 1:39 PM
    I think it is an individually based question. Some high school girls are immature to date someone that is way older than them but some can handle it and do very well in the relationship, like myself. I am almost eighteen and dating a 25 year old. Some might say that it is inappropriate based on the stereotypes that older guys only date high school girls for the wrong reasons but we know why we're in the relationship together and have great communication and our relationship is wonderful.
  • Matt (View Email) on March 29, 2006 at 1:26 AM
    Hi, After stumbling on this site by mistake I feel rather compelled to tell my story and end it with some advice to the young girls here. There was a girl I had known as just friends for a few years and we wound up together as boyfriend/girlfriend. this girl was sixteen and i was twenty six and she came after me and I knew it was not the best thing for me to do but it happend. She was on independant study and I was on disability so we had plenty of time on our hands. She was a very nice girl from a decent family. Her parents did not care for it at first but her mother was married at sixteen to a guy eleven years older than her and still together. So she used that as an excuse to be able to date me. It lasted for ninteen months and we were together almost everyday ...inseperable for the most part. Madly in love we were to say the least
    I was teased by friends and other people for being with her but to this day even after being married since then and other girlfriends she is "the one" That I could never completely get over. To this day almost fifteen years later she holds a special place in my heart and I would do anything for her. four and a half years after we split up she was married and she found me on a BBS board and we talked on the phone for almost two hours and she told me "you were damn good to me Matt" ... My point is this, not all older guys are after young girls for all the wrong reasons. If a younger girl is wanting to date an older guy dont hide it from your parents. Now im forty two years old and over the past two years I have dated three girls in there twentys. Im not some hot looking guy or anything but Im nice and have a great personality. But like I said, if your going to date an older guy dont hide it from your parents.

  • crazyangel on April 16, 2006 at 4:42 AM
    hmmm... some people are older than they are. some girls feel more comfortable with older men instead of waiting for the men their age to reach their required intellectual maturity.
  • Tyrell (View Email) on April 27, 2006 at 9:43 PM
    I am in love with a 14 year old---I'm 19 and a fresh. in college. I know what some of you may be thinking (Oh, well there should be plenty of girls at your school!) but...my heart is w/ the 14 year old. Do we get along? Yes. Love each other? Yes. Will I respect her and NOT have sex with her until it is appropriate...OF COURSE. I am a Capricorn---we are PICKY as hell and even though there are some circumstances concerning us---I've found someone who I love VERY much and I am adamant about it. Her sister (who I found out just fell in love with me) says that I'm sick and there's no reason for it..."She's 14!" And? Because I'm 19, I'm grown?! Well, let me go out and buy a Smirnoff Vodka-Strawberry and celebrate...oops! I can't---I'm underage, gotta wait. Let me go out and get my own apartment and pay my own insurance---oops! Can't do that, I still depend upon my parents (and family) for a lot things. Yeah, I'm a GROWN ass man, alright. Don't get me wrong, I am "getting" to that point, but it sure as hell won't be tomorrow. Hell, there are people who are 28 years old and couldn't be MORE immature! Irresponsible, lack of integrity, lazy, rude, immoral! Ya' know? People, I have honestly fell in love with this girl... Does she has immature ways? Well, DUH! Can I handle them? I believe so... Question is---can she handle mine as well! lol Believe me, she knows a lot though. Problem is, she's gotta start "practicing" what she knows. But should I let her date those "boys" (who trust me are NO GOOD for her---she says they all disrespect her interminably) and have "school life"----I mean, I'm risking losing her love. Whoooo, my natural inclination is to be unselfish and let her do her thing and risk it all.
  • Paul (View Email) on May 1, 2006 at 12:40 PM
    I am one in that position now. I am 56 and my girlfriend is 23. She lives in the Philippines and there young girls are brought up from birth to date and fall inlove with older men. I am not interested in women in their 50s, but I do want a pretty young lady that is willing to be pampered and loved, romanced and held up as the queen she is. This young lady of mine, is very beautiful, has 2 degrees, and looking for an older man to marry. She has everything I ever wanted in a woman and we've been corresponding for over 5 years. I tell her everything she wants to know and we have so much in common. I've talked with her parents and family and they welcome me to their family. Some people don't understand, but I don't have to please them, just me and her. I'm open to all criticisms and comments, and opinions.
  • brittani (View Email) on May 24, 2006 at 12:03 PM
    Yes i tink that it is okay for high school girls under 16 to date boys over 18, but only if it is okay with the parent or parents.
  • Amberlee (View Email) on May 24, 2006 at 1:28 PM
    I think a girl who knows what she wants in life even if she is under the age of 18 should have the right to chose who she wants to be with. Age is nothing but a number, if she is inlove with an older man then so be it. I see no harm in being with an older man.
    I just hope thats what they want. Sometimes putting a limit on love is hard to follow. We have to realize that were human beings and we have every right to love and be with someone. If they are old enough to know what they are doing then i see nothing wronge with it. Because i know what its like having the world being against something that you in your heart want so badly. Why should anyone have to wait..
  • constance (View Email) on July 3, 2006 at 2:58 PM
    Well to me it really depends. Thers a limit see me and my boyfriend are 4 years apart and i really dont see whats the problem but my family seems to see it. Another thing is age is really nothing but a number if you guys are on the same level whats the problem. Maybe over 5 years there is a problem but i really dont like to get involed but hey dont stop no one relationship it may just be true love, because you dont have to be a certain age to know what love is its more of a logical thing. Basically i say if you feel its right dont let no one get between you and him. Trust me i know im 16 and my boyfriend is 20 who i've been with for a year going strong.
  • Ayanda on August 24, 2006 at 5:26 AM
    I thnk that young gals dating older men is okay because you find that for instance that guys your age are just not mature enough so if you are finding pleasure in dating oldr men,go 4 it galfriend after all you have nothing to lose.Just to conclude it has been proven that gals growp faser then guys,think bout that?
  • nelson r (View Email) on December 12, 2006 at 6:37 PM
    I'm currently living that state of mind, broke up with my pretty gf of 3 years and can't seem to find a replacement in my age group since afterall she was 16 when we first started going out and I'm 35, I don't look my age at all lost all the weight currently at 125 for my height of 5'9' and size 30 low waist jeans wear stuff from the mall any 17 year old would wear even got my frosted highlights for my hairstyle, fixed up my car and hang out with my sisters friends 18 and under it's just wonderfull but at the end I still miss my gf who is about 24 by now, problem is 1) can't find any pretty girls my age who are either not married, engaged, with kids, or in some type of relationship...2) myth that I can't find girls my age is not true I'd find them quick but then when I tell them I'm 35 they dismiss me as a liar and never give me a chance, in fact I get more work done in bars with women 25 and older just because..3)oh..and by the way I did hook up with a couple of really hot girls and only thing I have to say is that it's very intoxicating..better than a shot of tequila..better than any drug of choice...and will I stop..no..for as long as I can "hack" the look I won't however eventually I will find the girl I'm looking for and will start a more meaningful relationnship, trust me, I am not about to marry a 35 year old hag that my age group, that's just not the way I roll..lol
  • sierra (View Email) on December 25, 2006 at 3:56 PM
    I think tht age doesn't matter if they really like each other and the guy tht is considerably older shows all interestin what she wants to do when she gets older isn't looking for just one thing. He is also afraid to show tht he really likes her because the age differnce but when she turns 18 he will stay by her side and show his entire affection. If they do work together and go out to her car or his he doesn't try to make any moves but he respects her and will wait so in saying tht from experience age doesn't matter cause guys myh own age only use u and i kno tht for a fact cause it happened to me most recently.
  • connie phillips (View Email) on January 25, 2007 at 9:50 AM
    hi my name is connie and i am 18 im lost in a relationship i have questions in my relationship can some one help me??
    im 18 years old im going out with a 25 year old guy and he has a 6 year old son am i wrong to like him am i wrong to be with him because he has a son i it wrong period to be with a guy thats 7 years older than me??
  • Amberlee (View Email) on May 30, 2007 at 1:15 PM
    OK here is the differece....
    Preying and Dating are two differnt things..
    Im 18 and my boyfriend is 25.
    i was 16 when i lost my virg...to him and he was 23...
    we love eachother and we always will...he wants nothing more then the best for me...
  • The Known Unknown (View Email) on April 18, 2009 at 10:57 PM
    It's really how you look at it, and how comfortable you are with yourself and the situaton. I remember in high school girls always dated guys that were 6-8 years older. Some worked out and some didn't. Love knows no bound but I have to say some guys may prey on younger girls to fill some sort of void, but realistically a lot of men, just are trying to find descent woman without so much baggage. Most woman by the time their 25 have kids, a divorce, something that may ,make them a lil less desirable. It doesn't mean anything is wrong with them, but when you look at age groups and what your looking for in a woman, you may find someone who is a decade younger. It's hard to say it's just wrong but at the same time, it can raise ewbrows depending on the type of relationship they have. 17 is a tender age but alot of woman 17 really are mature enough to date older, but they do lack life experiences. With the right man though, to nuture and teach I think it's ok to date, as long as you let the lady mature and grow on her own. I don't believe in being controlling of someone so much younger, cause it's more to your advantage. I undertsand dudes dating younger girls completely, and I understand the oppostion. But when your in your twenties none of it will matter anymore so if you do have something good, be honest about it, and put yourself in teh shoes on a parent and an olde rguy is picking up your daughter. Can't be a hipocrit!! It's a tender situation truthfully but i think it can work with honesty, as a real man, if you do date someone younger be a man and teach and let her blossom, smothering her I believe would hinder her own personal growth. " LoVELIFE"
    think outside of the box
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