Montgomery Blair High School's Online Student Newspaper
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May 24, 2006

Rollin' out in style

by Pratik Bhandari, Page Editor and Varun Gulati, Page Editor
Editor's note: Silver Chips Online does not condone any of the following activities.
Editor's note #2: Silver Chips Online's photo staff was unable to conclusively verify the authenticity of these photographs.
Editor's note #3: Pratik and Varun are no longer on staff.

Given that Varun and Pratik are about to be rollin' up out of this joint in a couple of days, they figured that it would be hard for "The Man" (that's you, Philly G) to expel for all you suckahs left in the building, they have left you one, final article, detailing an adventure on Blair property. This is the one adventure that will sweep your days when these two mavens of mischief, dashing young fellows, strapping lads and objects of your desires graduate from old Monty B.

A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away (except not really) Pratik saw Ghostbusters. And in that movie, the benevolent Stay Puft Marshmallow Man was transformed into a vessel of great evil. Pratik never really got over that deep-seated psychological scar, so now it manifests itself as an overwhelming desire to burn any and all things marshmallow over an open flame and to eat them afterwards...preferably with chocolate and graham crackers. Varun, being normal - or at least normal as compared to Pratik - is simply warming his hands before a night out on the town.

Pratik was hungry and he can't eat meat, so the two of them decided to have a tofercue. Luckily, Pratik had a tofu block right at hand, so he loaded it up into Varun's handy spit roast, and voila! Meal for two. Plus some.

Varun, unfamiliar with the taste of grilled tofu, spit out the hunka hunka burnin' love he had just swallowed. Pratik, deeply offended, decided to get payback for Varun's harsh insult. Using his magic golden pizza, which has never missed its target, Pratik started a two-man food fight. And won.

But after a while, Pratik and Varun decided to reconcile, saving the remains of their tattered friendship and roasted tofu. Delirious with joy, the duo climbed to the openings in the wall behind the SAC stage and took chilling to a whole new level. Stress on level.

Exercise was called for after all that food. Pratik, desperate to prove to Varun that he is stronger, dared him to a chin-up contest. Unfortunately, the closest thing to a chin-up bar they could find was 20 feet up. So, Varun, with his amazing "hops," went first and somehow latched onto the bar. However, he was unable to successfully complete a chin-up. Pratik, in an amazing display of power, managed to do one.

The chin-ups, however, were not enough. Noted Silver Chips Online expert in all things, Alex Hyder, declared that, "Cardiovascular exercises are the best way to burn lipids and fats, fo sho." Varun and Pratik decided to break from the monotony of simple foot racing and engaged in a handstand race. That didn't go so well for Pratik.

Pratik, determined to prove himself the better man yet again, challenged Varun to an impromptu dunk contest. At first, both of them tried to dunk on the same rim...which hurt, to say the least, so they decided to take turns. Varun was up first.

Varun's version of the dunk: "In this picture, you see me in motion, about to pull a monster 360, between-the-legs, off-the-glass dunk."

Pratik's version of the dunk: "He smacked his head on the rim."

Either way, Pratik had his turn next.

Pratik's version of the dunk: "In an amazing feat of lower body strength, I managed to defy gravity for 4.72 seconds, fly into the troposphere, and land a soaring dunk."

Varun's version of the dunk: "Photoshop. But then again..."

It seems as though Pratik had won, but Varun begged to differ.

Varun and Pratik decided to settle this the only way it could be settled: with kung-fu.
Pratik's version: "He fell off the bar trying to kick, it was really pretty darn funny"
Varun's version: "Needless to say, I won. Woot for roundhouse kicks."

So, Blizzair's finest had had their fun for the day, goofing off on Blair property. Now, they're a bit older and wiser. Well, at least older. And ready to graduate.

Varun and Pratik: flying out in style.

Copy Editor's note: Varun and Pratik have both been "taken care of."

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  • monkey on May 24, 2006 at 9:07 PM
    hahaha you guys are crazyyyy =)
  • hmmm guys on May 24, 2006 at 9:12 PM
    i love the hand on pratik's foot... in your "handstand race."
  • 07 on May 24, 2006 at 9:21 PM
    Haha. It's cute. A great way to end the school year and high school career.
  • minh on May 24, 2006 at 9:58 PM guys are hilarious. :-P
  • arbit on May 24, 2006 at 10:11 PM
    hahahahahahahaha blair is lost without you two studmuffins.
  • mimi on May 25, 2006 at 4:59 PM
    I love you guys~
  • eddie tang on May 25, 2006 at 5:29 PM
    hahaha, very nice
  • af on May 25, 2006 at 6:20 PM
    nice photoshopping
  • smurf on May 25, 2006 at 7:00 PM
    i'm gonna miss you crazy injunz =']
  • Ravi U on May 25, 2006 at 7:52 PM
    Haha, hilarious. Nice way to go out.
  • =) on May 25, 2006 at 8:41 PM
    niceeee :P
  • moho on May 25, 2006 at 9:35 PM
    hahaha omggg you guys are too funny!
  • g on May 26, 2006 at 12:23 AM
    i am really confused. but it's all good because i love the two of you.
  • chels on May 26, 2006 at 1:16 AM
    hot stuff!
  • Keisha on May 27, 2006 at 7:26 AM
    Ha ha, we'll miss you Varun.
  • ET on May 27, 2006 at 5:43 PM
    Good riddance =p

    I deny any responsibility in Varun and Pratik's... demise. Ish.
  • 05 grad on May 29, 2006 at 12:10 AM
  • 07 on May 29, 2006 at 10:37 PM
    lol, now that's what i call style.
  • m on May 30, 2006 at 12:43 AM
    last image = priceless.
    ekta pwns
  • samir p. on May 30, 2006 at 10:30 PM
    i love the russel peters' refrence at the beginning. =)
  • em on May 31, 2006 at 3:11 PM
  • interesting on June 1, 2006 at 6:22 PM
    wow, weirdest article ever????
  • courtenay (View Email) on June 2, 2006 at 4:30 PM
    haha the picture make me laugh :P
  • wow on September 19, 2006 at 9:34 PM
    the first three suck but the rest are gold
  • tahnah on November 13, 2009 at 12:37 AM
    I love this weird article, I wish SCO would still do things like this.
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