Montgomery Blair High School's Online Student Newspaper
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Dec. 26, 2008

Soulja Boy tells 'em nothing

by Katie Sint, Online Managing Editor
The musical genius who brought us meaningless yet extremely popular tracks like "Crank Dat (Soulja Boy)" and "Get Silly" brings the same lackluster approach to his newest album, "iSouljaBoyTellem." Soulja Boy amazingly manages to make each of the 16 tracks on "iSouljaBoyTellem" as mindless as the next. From the bouncy beat of "Rubberbands" to the ridiculous "Wit My Yums On," Soulja Boy has established himself as an artist that should never, ever win a Grammy.
The rapper's newest album is almost completely unlistenable. <i>Picture courtesy of Interscope Records </i>.
The rapper's newest album is almost completely unlistenable. Picture courtesy of Interscope Records .

The first track, "I'm Bout Tha Stax," is the most obnoxious of Soulja Boy's newest songs. With an agitating backbeat, the song lacks any actual meaning or content. The pointless rhymes and disjointed beat give the impression that Soulja Boy is merely yelling a list of all the things he likes, his twisted version of Julie Andrews's "My Favorite Things." Always one for moving lyrics, he shouts: "I'm bout the swag, I'm bout the ice, I'm bout the stax."

With songs like "Booty Got Swag" and "Hey You There," "iSouljaBoyTellem" seems more a practical joke than a professional musical album. The rapper's complete lack of flow and creativity overshadows any semi-tolerable backbeat. Lines like "You acting monkey, we keep bananas," are not only incoherent but also make listeners wonder which studio producer thought it a good idea to let Soulja Boy record an album.

The album is a self-indulgent testament to Soulja Boy and just how awesome he thinks he is. On tracks like "Turn my Swag on" and "Gucci Bandana," the rapper repeatedly praises himself and boasts of his self-perceived talent. Unfortunately, unlike rappers like Kanye West and Lil' Wayne, who both claim to be and are considered by many as the best rappers alive, Soulja Boy's horrific track list is inversely related to his full-blown ego.

The rapper, if you can even call him that, does attempt to diversify the predominantly rap album with a few slow songs such as "Kiss Me Thru the Phone" and "Yamaha Mama." But despite the help of featured artists Sammie and Sean Kingston, the songs cannot be saved from Soulja Boy's off-key singing (has he heard of auto-tune?). Seeming lost in a genre where he can't shout the same phrase over and over again, Soulja Boy's performance in these slow songs comes across as pathetically half-hearted and out of place.

Unlike many rappers who choose to infuse their songs with meaning and a message, Soulja Boy's newest album is purely commercial and materialistic. Every song on the album is transparent and has to do with either a) girls, b) cars, c) money, d) designer clothes or e) a shallow combination of the above.

Lacking depth and meaning, "iSouljaBoyTellem" isn't worth time or money (at best, YouTube a couple tracks when you're feeling sorry for yourself). The only guarantee that comes with this album is that it will surely be forgotten in a few short weeks. "Crank Dat" was so bad it was good. This album is just that bad. Soulja Boy should take a permanent step away from the microphone and stick to creating ridiculous dance moves.

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  • Soulja Boy on December 27, 2008 at 1:30 AM
    Ms. Sint (YAHH YAHH),

    It's ya boy souljaboytellem and your review offended me (NAHH TRICK NAHH). not only do i possess lyrical genius (YOUUUUUUUUUU) but i've created an empire based on my exquisite souljamoves (YIGGITY BAH YIGGTY BAH). you will never be my soulja girl.

  • The Prole on December 31, 2008 at 1:23 PM
    Soulja boy and Miley Cyrus have done for the Humor and Entertainment section of this paper than Levi Strauss did for clothing.

    LMAO "Wit My Yums On"
  • sammy D on January 2, 2009 at 1:15 AM
    nope, you cant do it like me
    so dont do it like me
    i see u trnya do it like me
    man that ishhh was ugly

  • sammy on January 2, 2009 at 1:16 AM
    she got a DONK
  • JC Embermann (View Email) on January 9, 2009 at 10:29 AM
    Soulja Boy is one of the most untalented and idiotic artists ever. He makes no sense singing that repetitive annoying song.
  • Shanda (View Email) on February 25, 2009 at 2:46 PM
    i love... you aint gotta be like every otha rapper. i love your music...
  • Alison on May 5, 2009 at 9:23 PM
    Thank you so much; that made my DAY.
  • World Cup 2010 Shoes (View Email) on July 23, 2010 at 9:41 PM
    I think youve made some truly interesting points. Not too many people would actually think about this the way you just did. Im really impressed that theres so much about this subject thats been uncovered and you did it so well, with so much class. Good one you, man! Really great stuff here.
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