People like to point out problems with our generation. We're lazy, they say. We're irresponsible with money. We're immature, spoiled or selfish. For the most part, they're making unfounded accusations. However, it's time we recognize a trait that is characteristic of our generation: our reluctance to commit to anything.
This one trait seems to be prevalent in all aspects of our lives. Our generation is getting married an average of about 16 percent later than our parents did. Financially, our generation is buying our first houses nine years later than our parents did. But the most common, most overlooked fear of commitment takes place in agreeing to meet up with friends. The trouble's not about canceling plans anymore, it's about agreeing on them in the first place.
'Maybe' is our generation's new favorite word. Want to go see that new movie that just came out? Maybe. Want to go to a concert? Maybe. Want to go on a date? Maybe. Settling on even a single moment to enjoy someone else's company seems to be just about our least favorite thing to do. It happens to everyone, and it happens a lot.
There are a couple of reasons why this occurs. One is simple insecurity. No matter what excuses people use, the biggest reason they are afraid of commitment is that there's always the chance that something better might come along. Nobody wants to get stuck in a boring situation with the prospect of something cooler on the horizon, so they leave their options open. While it's understandable, it's also impolite to anyone who is willing to make the commitment and make plans.
Another reason is a harsher one: complete disregard for the reactions and emotions of others. Avoiding commitment allows a certain degree of freedom, providing you with the appearance that you still have control over your time. Generally people are too self-absorbed with their own desires to consider the potential adverse effects a lack of commitment can have on a relationship . Essentially, the other person is left in a vague state of confusion in which they don't know where they stand in the relationship.
Ansari nails it. It's rude. And it has a greater impact on your relationships than you know. If you're going to start talking about doing something together or hanging out, it's time to make that commitment. Because the alternative is the continuation of a culture where nobody ever finds time to enjoy each other's company, and that's not a society anyone wants to live in.
Nicholas Shereikis. "Did you hear about the rose that grew from a crack in the concrete? Proving nature's laws wrong, it learned to walk without having feet. Funny it seems, but by keeping its dreams; it learned to breathe fresh air. Long live the rose that grew … More »