(Sorry guys, we just had to rhyme)
Answers compiled by Jeffrey Dunn, Allison Elvove, Ely Portillo and Katherine Zhang.
Note: Silver Chips Online is still accepting nominations for the top ten coolest teachers in the school. We will post the results in the next edition of Ask Chips.
Going Commando asks: "Boxers or briefs?"
The female Editors-in-Chief decided that boxers are better, definitely boxers. Ely, Vivek and Jeff were unavailable for comment.
Grocery Store Checkout Boy asks: "Paper or Plastic?"
Silver Chips Online is obligated to be environmentally friendly, so we go with paper.
Soft Drink Fanatic asks: "Coke or Pepsi?"
Coke, the vanilla kind. You can't beat staying up until two in the morning drinking Vanilla C. Vanilla all the way!
cowboysRock asks: "if a parrot learns to speak in one language and then later on learns a second language...will it have an accent?"
We frankly have no idea. However, George Herbert Meade, in his Mind Self and Society, says, "The parrot learns to 'speak.' It is not, we shall see,
genuine speech, for he is not conveying ideas, but we commonly say the parrot imitates the sounds that appear about it." Therefore, logic implies that the parrot might have an accent if the person whom it was mimicking had an accent. Just don't quote us. You could, of course, find out by borrowing a parrot and teaching it Icelandic and Farsi. In that order.
John asks: "When will snoWatch come back?"
When it snows again...Bet you never saw that one coming.
JM Sheng asks: "I'm beginning to get really desperate in my search for love, and quite discouraged, actually. HELP ME FIND LOVE. Are there any girls available? Katherine, Allison? PLEASE?"
Katherine: Absolutely not.
Allison: Yeah...what she said.
Katherine: I mean, I'm sure there's someone right for you out there somewhere. I mean you go to a school of 3,400 people! Can it really be that hard? On another note, definitely not me.
Allison: I mean, we always try to accommodate our readers, but there's just some things we're not willing to do.
Ely: Don't think you're going anywhere tonight young women.
Allison: Haha. So there you have it. Consensus stands among the ranks that the answer is NO! but good luck out there.
Likes to eat muffins asks: "Do YOU know the muffin man?"
We know everyone, including the Muffin Man, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny and Deep Throat. We're not kidding either.
Senior's rock asks: "what is the origin of the phrase 'out of the blue'?"
The following information comes from an online website. However, at the current time, this site seems to have disappeared. "Out of the blue" comes from a "bolt from the blue" or "a thunderbolt from a clear blue sky." In myths, a thunderbolt represents the destructive power of the gods, such as Jove. There is a superstition that a bolt or arrow from the heavens demonstrates the destructive nature of lightning striking an object. The expression exemplifies the fact that if the sky is clear and blue, lightning and thunder would be completely unexpected. Ta da!
Tim asks: "Why can't I still get a girlfriend? I followed all of your suggestions... =("
Tim, I'm sorry to say that love isn't for everyone. Keep at it. Write sappy poetry, buy flowers and jewelry, do all the clichéd things because they're supposed to work. However, keep this in mind and remember to smile, always smile: if you don't know rejection and uncertainty, will you ever truly know what love is? Hmmmm…ponder that one for awhile.
Kristen (firstname.lastname@example.org) asks: "Is Hot Topic owned by the Gap?"
According to the website, it doesn't look like the store is owned by GAP. Instead, it appears that Hot Topic is in fact its own company called Hot Topic, Inc.
Jew asks: "How many ways are there to spell Hanukah (Chanukah, Hanukkah, etc)?"
Since it is getting to that time of the year again, it's fitting to discuss the various spellings of this holiday.
A website even suggests Khanooka, stating, "Variety is the spice of life." In the end, neither is better than the other, and they're all pronounced the same way. It's your pick. And hey, if you think we left out a potential spelling, let us know!
Kiley (email@example.com) asks: "When is Miguel Castro, who plays Magnet in the movie, Holes, when is his birthday, and in what year?"
As your parents would say, just look it up yourself! Besides, we're too lazy to look it up ourselves. By the time we finish answering this question, we probably could've looked up the answer, but *shrug.* Oh well. We will do one thing for you, though, to lead you in the right direction. Click here for the answers to all your movie needs...and to all your basic, life needs as well.
Tortillo Portillo asks: "does the green ketchup taste the same as the red ketchup???? this is a really important question!"
Why don't you try it, and get back to us so we can include your findings in a scientific study in the next Ask Chips. Our prediction: it actually does taste the same, but you're mind will tell you it doesn't because the colors are all weird. And on that note, who came up with the idea of green ketchup? I mean ewwwww, gross. At least make it magenta.
Disgusted Filmgoer asks: "WHY THE HECK ARE THEY MAKING A MOVIE ABOUT SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS?!?!?"
First of all, the sponge who lives in a pineapple under the sea is an immensely popular character with both young kids and some teens. This film is no doubt motivated by the desire to explore some of the deeper aspects of our own human mortality and our ultimate connection to the sea as both life-giver and a dangerous, reckless force to be grappled with.
Ok, just kidding. Spongebob's show makes a lot of money. Spongebob's merchandise makes a lot of money. Therefore, a Spongebob movie should make tons of money. And why are all films made (ignoring those art films that hardly anybody sees)? For money! Hollywood executives know that a Spongebob movie will probably rake in a huge profit, it makes perfect sense for them to exploit the Spongebob craze while it lasts.
Ouchh! asks: "why does blair have doors that open outward?! It sooo painful when you get hit in the face!"
Ouchh, it's for that reason exactly. To hit people just like you. Anyone and everyone is a target of the doors' wrath. Just be careful. You never know who's lurking within…
Question asks: "How come all novels considered 'great literature' are depressing?"
Because clearly, only depressing stories are the good ones. Hey, at least you can read them and be like, "Wow, my life's actually not that bad. At least I didn't sled into a tree (Ethan Frome) and at least I'm not being convicted of a murder I'm innocent of (To Kill a Mockingbird).
"Curious Singer asks: "Who wrote the book of love?"
Albert Kung asks: "|)035 45k C|-|!P5 5p33k l337?"
For those of you who don't know, this fan is asking if we speak Leet, the accepted language of half-crazed people a little too into computers, in which everything is spelled out with symbols and numbers. Translated, Mr. Kung is asking, "Does Ask Chips Speak Leet?" Which, of course, the answer is yes. Siwei Kwok also asked, "477 j00r b453 r b370nq 2 u5." Translated, this means: "All your base are belong to us," which is technically not a question.
Final Fantasy Fan writes: "Which is the best Final Fantasy video game?"
Man, you just had to go and ask about Ely's favorite video games of all time. Well, I've played six of the Final Fantasy (FF) games and beaten three of them, so I feel qualified to give you a true answer.
FF 1 was a groundbreaking roleplaying game (RPG), where for the first time players were able to build, control and develop a party of characters. The animation was slightly better than stick figure quality, but it was still a mega-hit in Japan, spawning more than ten follow-up games and re-releases.
Without a doubt, the only three serious contenders for the best FF game are FF 6 (known in the US as FF 3), FF 7, and FF 10. Once you narrow it down to those, the choice is really a matter of personal preference. FF 10 has the best graphics, FF 3 probably has the best characters and plot, and FF 7 has the most entertaining gameplay. The rest is up to you to decide.
Struggling Christian writes: "Can God microwave a burrito so hot that even he cannot touch it?"
Well, God can do everything, so of course he can. But wait, if it's so hot he cannot touch it, then he can't do everything. An interesting paradox, Struggling Christian. This could really make you wonder if God really even exists?
Meg (firstname.lastname@example.org) writes: "How does someone become part of the electoral college? Who decides who the electors are?"
According to Maryland State Board of Elections, political parties typically select their electoral college electors at their state party conventions. In most states, electors are selected as part of the primary election.
Haddaway asks: "What is love?"
It's what you get when you get in Cupid's way, a mysterious force that mere mortals just cannot understand...