Ask Chips: lucky number 13

To our readers,

We decided to once again get rolling with our own bright, new Ask Chips answers to your every needs. No featured columnist this week because we ran out of funds to pay them. If you have any ideas on how to solve this dilemma, leave a comment below. Otherwise, we just ask that you leave us lots of questions here. We can't attempt to be funny without your attempt to ask questions.

Signed,
Silver Chips Online's Editors

Julissa Roger (jurogers@MBHS.edu) asks: "Hi I will like to know why the bathroom never have soap or paper to dry your hands. How come the bathroom are never clean. Can we get some one can help use about that Thank You?"

Don't complain to us. There's nothing we can do. Better start your own clean-up team, best named Teen Tightyupems. You'll all have super powers. Like one person can turn into a ghost and walk through walls and inspect how rotten it is in there. Also, for all those people who like to lock bathroom stalls to make people crawl under and open the door, Ghost Teen Tightyupem will just walk right on through. Invisibility Teen Tightyupem and Telekinesis Teen Tightyupem are the most useful perhaps. You could just remove all the nasty paper towels from the ground…with your mind! No pick up necessary.

Alissa (une_grande_vache@yahoo.com) asks: "has the maryland driving age been raised to eighteen? if not, are there plans to do so?"

Although the driving age has not been raised to 18 yet, there are lawmakers in the Maryland legislature who wish to restrict driving privileges for teens. Click here for more information.

senior steeped in miserable juice asks: "Why is this school year not over yet???"

Ah, senior, we here at the elite Ask Chips team feel your pain. Due to the unique properties of the space-time continuum. however, there are still a little less than three months before graduation. Nothing known to man can speed that up, except for that really awesome car in "Back to the Future." So if all this school is really making you that miserable, try souping up a DeLorean and jumping ahead to June 2.

Excited and Procrastinated asks: "Where is SnoWatch when you need it?!"

Don't worry, snoWatch will always be ready when nature calls. However, since our snow-detecting satellite crashed from the school's roof (we never really got it high enough to do much good), we're restricted to basing our predictions on what other forecasters say. This doesn't really handicap us much though, as most of them are as wildly inaccurate as the great snoWatch.

student asks: "I worked hard on an assignment, and put it on my desk after i finished. But then when i came back, my dog had come in, ate my whole assignment, and knocked my printer onto the floor and breaking it. What should i tell my teacher?!?!"

Ask Chips cordially excuses you from that assignment. Not that we have the power to do that or anything; we just like to pretend we do.

Cook asks: "What is the most expensive type of mushroom to eat?"

According to starchefs.com, the most expensive type of mushroom is called a Perigord truffle, which can cost anywhere from $1,000 to $1,500 per pound. The production of these mushrooms has decreased approximately ten-fold over the past two hundred years, and according to starchef.com, this decrease in production may have been caused by obscure hunting techniques for truffles and difficulties in truffle domestication.

Still Hungry asks: "How come you can't bring food bought in the cafeteria past the SAC? You are allowed to eat your own food anywhere on Blair Blvd, how come cafeteria food is so different?"

Cafeteria food comes on a tray made out of non-biodegradable Styrofoam. Irresponsible Blazers have been known to leave these trays scattered about after lunch, littering the halls like unwelcome confetti. That means that even if Blair were left unoccupied for a thousand years, these trays would still litter the halls when humans poked their heads in. All of the additional waste generated by cafeteria lunch packaging is most likely the justification for the ban.

susan simpson (thebangaloreblue@yahoo.com) asks:
"Okay, this is a very serious question. What is your favorite character on Saved By The Bell. Oh, one more question, is Paris Hilton Hot or Not?"

Well Susan, your question really threw us for a loop. We had a tough time, but it really came down to choosing between the dorky-looking guy with brown hair (Screech), and the dorky-looking guy with blonde hair (Zack). Then we decided that we couldn't pick a favorite character, as the editors all hated "Saved by the Bell." Sorry, you're out of luck.

As to the second part of your question, the consensus among the female editors seems to be that she is "gross." The males agreed that she is "ok, but not that hot." Hope that helps you out.

lisa asks: "whats your favourite chips"

Of the silver kind. Duh.

Nitin Sukumar at Nitin_Sukumar@yahoo.com asks: "Did anyone really famous go to Blair?"

As a matter of fact, Nitin, several famous people did go to Blair. Our list of famous alumni include: CNN news anchor Connie Chung, talk show commentator Ben Stein, actress Goldie Hawn, Olympic gymnast Dominique Dawes, basketball player Steve Francis and Washington Post reporter Carl Bernstein. That last one is our personal favorite; he with fellow reporter Bob Woodward revealed the Watergate Scandal in the early 1970s.

clock asks: "When did North Face become popular, and why?"

To answer that question, we happily direct you here.

Please asks: "Can you do my knight's tour for me? :)"

Ah, the Knight's Tour program! It's a Java project in Magnet computer science classes that involves the creation of a knight that visits every square on a chess board once - and only once, moving only in the L-formation that knights are allowed. It's a tough one, and we understand your frustration, dear sophomore. To that end, we sympathetically provide you with the following lines of code to get you started:

class knightsTour{
public static void main runKnightsTour(){
//insert code here
}
}

Hope that helps!

Jon asks: "If a man washes the dishes, and no woman is around to see it, did he really do it?"

No, of course not. To begin with, a man would never get near the dishes to even wash them. However, the more important reason is that if a woman isn't around, then nothing in fact happened. They always say, "Behind every successful man there is a woman." So if you hear that a man is washing the dishes, don't believe it. Most likely he got the wife to do it. Or the kid. Or if all else fails, the dog.