Ely Portillo


Name: Ely Portillo
Position: Page Editor
Graduation Year: 2005
Ely Portillo will make up 1/4 of the editors-in-chief this year, rounding out a journalistic dream team of never before seen talent and good looks. His meteoric rise to fame and fortune will be dramatized this year in the highly anticipated movie The Cream Cheese Caper, starring Ben Affleck as Ely and Salma Hayek, Brittany Spears and Elisha Cuthbert as his famous all-girl army of Kung Fu Killers. Ely's autobiography, Pantalones Magicos - the Story of a True American, goes on sale next February. His chart-topping single "Grandes Gordos" is the number one song in Latin music, and his hit TV reality show Oops! Where's the baby? is heading into its 3rd season on top of all ratings charts known to man. Hail to the chief.


Stories (64)


Parents, interest groups fight over new health curriculum

By Ely Portillo | April 14, 2005, midnight | In Print »

Nearly everyone seems to have a different view of the new Montgomery County Public Schools (MCPS) health curriculum, and the battle over this front in the culture conflict is more vicious than anyone dreamed it would be.

Ask Chips: lucky number 13

By Allison Elvove, Ely Portillo, Katherine Zhang | March 18, 2005, midnight | In Print »

Julissa Roger (jurogers@MBHS.edu) asks: "Hi I will like to know why the bathroom never have soap or paper to dry your hands. How come the bathroom are never clean. Can we get some one can help use about that Thank You?" Don't complain to us. There's nothing we can do. Better start your own clean-up team, best named Teen Tightyupems. You'll all have super powers. Like one person can turn into a ghost and walk through walls and inspect how rotten it is in there. Also, for all those people who like to lock bathroom stalls to make people crawl under and open the door, Ghost Teen Tightyupem will just walk right on through. Invisibility Teen Tightyupem and Telekinesis Teen Tightyupem are the most useful perhaps. You could just remove all the nasty paper towels from the ground…with your mind! No pick up necessary.

snoWatch: the snow just keeps coming

By Vivek Chellappa Ely Portillo | Feb. 27, 2005, midnight | In Print »

Well, here we are again, already writing another snoWatch column for you heathens to enjoy. We're fresh off a four day long, snow-induced weekend, and the weather services are predicting snow tonight and tomorrow.

snoWatch: bigger, better than ever

By Vivek Chellappa Ely Portillo | Feb. 23, 2005, midnight | In Print »

With the threat of snow approaching, we here at the Silver Chips snoWatch team would like to propose a system we feel would benefit MCPS snow team (since we are the ones with real experience).

snoWatch: better late than never

By Vivek Chellappa Ely Portillo | Feb. 3, 2005, midnight | In Print »

Yet again, the sky is wrapping Montgomery County in a chilly blanket of white powder (usually known as snow), and once again snoWatch would appear to be late getting an actual article up. Don't worry, Blazers – this time we have a bona fide excuse.

Expansion of Silver Chips Online continues

By Ely Portillo Katherine Zhang | Feb. 1, 2005, midnight | In Print »

The year 2004 was a year of unprecedented growth and expansion for Silver Chips Online, as readership averaged 37,412 visitors a month and surpassed a total of 30,000 comments.

snoWatch: another Saturday posting

By Vivek Chellappa Ely Portillo | Jan. 29, 2005, midnight | In Print »

Fresh off a year when curses were broken (Red Sox winning it all, Redskins lost but Bush won) the weather team at snoWatch has noticed that a new curse has been started: snow on a Saturday night.

snoWatch: back again

By Vivek Chellappa Ely Portillo | Jan. 21, 2005, midnight | In Print »

As the old saying goes, when it rains, it pours, and when it snows...it sometimes snows a lot. So buckle up and get ready for a wacky, wintry ride this weekend.

Amazing snoWatch

By Vivek Chellappa Ely Portillo | Dec. 19, 2004, midnight | In Print »

DECEMBER 19, 2004 The skies over Montgomery County are darkening again, and a chill wind nips at noses and under mittens. All around, merry children are wearing their pajama pants backwards, doing snow dances and praying for snow; the not-so-merry kids are doing things like sacrificing goats to the dark snow gods. As you breathlessly wait on the eve of this winter's first real possibility of snow, the snoWatch crew is working hard to bring you up to the second, vaguely accurate information and predictions.

Code Blue and Red drills held in homeroom

By Allison Elvove Ely Portillo | Nov. 11, 2004, midnight | In Print »

Classes were locked down for almost half an hour today, Nov. 11, during homeroom for scheduled Code Blue and Code Red drills. Blair security and administration determined that four classes were casualties.

Blair experiences computer blackout

By Ely Portillo Katherine Zhang | Oct. 29, 2004, midnight | In Print »

Blair lost computer service for the beginning of first period this morning, Oct. 29, due to a significant power surge during the night. Service has since been restored, although individual computers may still experience power problems.

Blair struck by graffiti

By Ely Portillo | June 6, 2004, midnight | In Print »

The main entrance to Blair's SAC was covered in graffiti sometime between Friday night and early Saturday morning.

"Troy" opens summer movies with a bang

By Ely Portillo | May 18, 2004, midnight | In Print »

The story of Troy has been retold countless times and still echoes down through the millennia. Helen, Achilles, Agamemnon, Odysseus – their names are still almost as well known now as they were more than 3,000 years ago. But never before has this immortal story been brought so vividly and powerfully to life as it is in "Troy."

Living wage for Maryland families

By Ely Portillo | April 28, 2004, midnight | In Print »

Working families in Maryland and across the nation earned a great victory this year in Annapolis when the state House and Senate passed this country's first statewide living wage law. However, Governor Ehrlich has blindly vowed to kill the bill, wrongly labeling it anti-business and claiming it will be destructive to the state's economy. He must not veto this important bill.

Elementary school paper becomes reality

By Ely Portillo | April 26, 2004, midnight | In Print »

Two classes of first- and second-graders from Takoma Park Elementary School (TPES) have published their own paper, The Takoma Tribune. The first edition of the paper contains articles and stories by kids and for kids on topics running the gamut from education to the comic strip

Man on Fire fizzles

By Ely Portillo | April 26, 2004, midnight | In Print »

Man on Fire is a movie undergoing an identity crisis. What was billed as an action packed thriller has a tough time deciding whether it wants to tell the story of a ruthless man's vengeance, a broken spirit's redemption, or a little girl being reunited with her mother.

Kill Bill's quiet ending

By Ely Portillo | April 20, 2004, midnight | In Print »

Lawmakers reject slots bill

By Ely Portillo | April 16, 2004, midnight | In Print »

Lawmakers in Annapolis rejected Governor Ehrlich's plan to bring gambling to Maryland for the second year in a row. They passed the state's final balanced budget without slots near the close of the General Assembly's annual session.

Mindless fun in Walking Tall

By Ely Portillo | April 6, 2004, midnight | In Print »

Walking Tall is the very essence of Guy Cinema. With no plot, no acting and no character development, this sparse, rehashed testosterone-fest has nothing to offer besides The Rock smashing every living and inanimate object to appear onscreen.

5B-lunch restrictions threatened

By Ely Portillo | March 31, 2004, midnight | In Print »

Principal Gainous announced today that 5B lunch will be restricted to the cafeteria unless people leave less garbage for building services to clean up.

Perfectly entertaining Ladykillers

By Ely Portillo | March 29, 2004, midnight | In Print »

The Ladykillers is bombastic, brash, overblown, completely implausible, obscene, offensive and utterly hilarious.

The tragedy of Whitman's rock

By Ely Portillo | March 28, 2004, midnight | In Print »

The birds are migrating back north, new flowers are budding, and Whitman and Blair are once again exchanging sharp words. Must be spring.

Spring dieting advice

By Ely Portillo | March 26, 2004, midnight | In Print »

It's springtime again, and men and women all over the world know what that means – swimsuit season is just around the corner! Yes, there are only a few more crucial weeks to tone down those tubby tummies so you can have the body of your dreams. To that end, the Chips staff has been working day and night, driven to the point of utter exhaustion as Speedo season approaches, to bring you information on the latest and hippest diets out there. So without further ado –

Taking Lives takes a turn for the worse

By Ely Portillo | March 23, 2004, midnight | In Print »

Taking Lives is a generic Hollywood murder mystery that shows a few flashes of brilliance. However, any hope of greatness or even rising above the ordinary that this film has is swiftly crushed by a ridiculous onslaught of unbelievable plot twists.

Keep slots out of Maryland

By Ely Portillo | March 19, 2004, midnight | In Print »

Governor Ehrlich's slot plan has been touted as the only way to rescue education from spiraling state deficits and balance Maryland's toppling budget. In actuality, bringing slots to Maryland will only result in higher crime and social services costs as well as a grossly unfair tax on the state's poor citizens.

Spartan provides decent thrills

By Ely Portillo | March 15, 2004, midnight | In Print »

The story driving Spartan is simple enough – someone important has been kidnapped, and secret agents must get her back. Writer-director David Mamet proves that he is competent and that someone besides Tom Clancy can create a decent spy thriller. The espionage and backstabbing are believable enough too, but this film still lacks some crucial elements in the acting category.

First Chips writing contest

By Ely Portillo | March 11, 2004, midnight | In Print »

This is the first edition of the Chips Writing Competition, which will become a regular feature. A question was posed to students in their English classes, who wrote their answers and submitted them to Chips for judgment by our staff of trained professionals.

A stirring 21 Grams

By Ely Portillo | March 9, 2004, midnight | In Print »

Three strangers brought together by one terrible twist of fate. Three lives shattered, and three anguished souls trying to somehow move on.

Miracle makes audiences believe

By Ely Portillo | Feb. 10, 2004, midnight | In Print »

Miracle is not a great movie, nor will it be nominated for any Oscars next year. However, this film is still a solid, well-shot and well-acted piece of family entertainment with plenty to offer audiences of all ages.

President George W. Bush

By Ely Portillo | Feb. 2, 2004, midnight | In Print »

President George W. Bush's strong leadership and resolve have carried the American people through some of their darkest days. He is the obvious choice to lead the US for the next four years as well. None of the other candidates have anything close to his record of success or political experience.

My Big, Fat Obnoxious Fiancé pays off

By Ely Portillo | Jan. 21, 2004, midnight | In Print »

My Big, Fat Obnoxious Fiancé certainly lives up to its name. The fiancé is big, fat, and obnoxious, and hilarity is sure to ensue when he meets the lucky bride's shocked family.

New Montgomery County Police Chief is Blair graduate

By Ely Portillo | Jan. 8, 2004, midnight | In Print »

Montgomery County Executive Doug Duncan's office issued a press release on January 6, nominating Blair alumnus Colonel J. Thomas Manger for the position of Montgomery County Police Chief.

Ready for the next big storm

By Ely Portillo | Jan. 8, 2004, midnight | In Print »

They prowl on cold, wintry nights. While the world sleeps, they cruise frigid, lonely roads. They are Montgomery County's Inclement Weather Team, a nine-person squad that decides the fate of the county's thousands of schoolchildren every time the unexpected happens, from snowstorms to hurricanes.

Science department admits physics was practical joke

By Ely Portillo | Jan. 7, 2004, midnight | In Print »

In a surprising announcement earlier today, Blair's science department confessed that the subject of physics was entirely fabricated.

House of Sand and Fog is a must see

By Ely Portillo | Jan. 1, 2004, midnight | In Print »

House of Sand and Fog is a powerful, forceful tragedy. Supported by an incredibly gifted cast and shot in a beautiful, quiet style, this movie clearly has an excellent shot at Oscar contention.

Paycheck is a big bust

By Ely Portillo | Dec. 30, 2003, midnight | In Print »

It's hardly ever a good thing when you can laugh at a serious movie all the way through. And it's definitely never good when the entire premise of a movie is so flimsy you can pick it apart faster than Ben Affleck's career nose-dived after Gigli. Unfortunately, Paycheck is the kind of movie where you end up doing both.

South Africa bans letters to Santa Claus

By Ely Portillo | Dec. 18, 2003, midnight | In Print »

The South African government took a bold and decisive step earlier this week to combat the rising tide of global instability. The government ordered the South African Post Office to stop running a television ad showing youngsters an address where they can write to Santa Claus, to avoid damaging the poor little hearts of South African children.

Teen drinking continues at Blair

By Ely Portillo | Dec. 11, 2003, midnight | In Print »

Friday at Blair is coming up again, and for many students that doesn't just mean the chance to relax for two days. Hundreds of Blazers, from all income and academic levels, will drinking during the upcoming weekend.

A triumphant Return to Middle Earth

By Ely Portillo | Dec. 9, 2003, midnight | In Print »

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King is a fantastic and breathtaking cinematic conclusion to J.R.R. Tolkien's epic trilogy, replete with stunning battle sequences and poignant emotion.

Bad Santa is perfectly hilarious

By Ely Portillo | Dec. 2, 2003, midnight | In Print »

Bad Santa's title is a tremendous understatement. Billy Bob Thorton's character is not just a bad mall Santa Claus, he is a terrible, awful human being. The entire movie is nothing less than the complete corruption of all human values and morality. And it is without a doubt the funniest movie to come out of Hollywood in a long, long time.

Governor's Secretary, officials visiting Blair

By Ely Portillo | Nov. 20, 2003, midnight | In Print »

Governor Ehrlich's Secretary is scheduled to visit Blair with Maryland Department of Transportation (MDOT) and Montgomery County officials on Monday, November 24.

Redskins meltdown: a study in lost potential

By Ely Portillo | Nov. 14, 2003, midnight | In Print »

The Skins started off on such a promising note this year. After four games, they were 3-1. The passing game looked stellar, with Quarterback Ramsey even enjoying back-to-back 350+ games. Although the offensive line was weak and sporadic, the passing and running games worked together and overcome adversity. The defense was superb. And then everything fell apart.

Blazers drop down to Division II

By Ely Portillo | Nov. 13, 2003, midnight | In Print »

Matrix: Revolutions is painful

By Ely Portillo | Nov. 9, 2003, midnight | In Print »

Many Matrix fans were disappointed and disgusted by the second movie in the trilogy, Matrix: Reloaded. Well, compared to Matrix: Revolutions, Reloaded deserves the Best Picture Oscar.

Weast named Maryland Superintendent of the Year

By Ely Portillo | Nov. 6, 2003, midnight | In Print »

Montgomery County Public Schools' Superintendent Dr. Jerry Weast has been named state Superintendent of the Year.

Expenditure freeze goes into effect for MCPS

By Ely Portillo | Nov. 4, 2003, midnight | In Print »

A severe expenditure freeze went into effect in Montgomery County schools on Monday, October 27. The freeze will restrict additional spending to the barest essentials in all departments.

Succcess in Iraq now measured in failure

By Ely Portillo | Oct. 31, 2003, midnight | In Print »

More encouraging news about our success in Iraq came on Monday, October 27. Many Americans, including President Bush, were heartened to learn that a string of four suicide bombings in Baghdad destroyed three police stations and the Red Cross' headquarters, killing 35 people.

Goin' down to South Park

By Ely Portillo | Oct. 29, 2003, midnight | In Print »

The boys of South Park are back for an eighth season in their quiet mountain town. Seven more new episodes are sure to bring heartwarming tales of love, friendship, and morality. Yeah, right.

Time to change the Pledge

By Ely Portillo | Oct. 25, 2003, midnight | In Print »

Two words in the Pledge of Allegiance have sparked a firestorm from the schools of California to the halls of the Supreme Court, which will decide next June about the legality of the phrase. In a diverse country with a great variety of religious faiths running the gamut from devout believers to atheists, issues of government and religion are a touchy subject. However, it is clear that the phrase is unconstitutional, and removing it will restore the Pledge to its original meaning.

24 : Season two summary

By Ely Portillo | Oct. 23, 2003, midnight | In Print »

Silver Chips Online is pleased to bring you the definitive guide to season two of '24,' just in time to bring you up to speed for the premier Tuesday, October 28th, at 9:00 PM on FOX.

Tarantino comes through with Kill Bill

By Ely Portillo | Oct. 14, 2003, midnight | In Print »

The Bride lays crumpled on the ground, her wedding dress stained in blood, as an unseen man named Bill (we can tell by his handkerchief) wipes blood off her face.

Survivor still going strong with new twists

By Ely Portillo | Oct. 14, 2003, midnight | In Print »

CBS' classic reality show hit Survivor kicked off its seventh season with all new twists and surprises four weeks ago. The show's ratings have remained strong as millions of viewers tune in every week for the latest battles between tribes.

Girl's tennis demolishes Sherwood

By Ely Portillo | Oct. 13, 2003, midnight | In Print »

The girls' tennis team defeated Sherwood 7-0 today in a blowout victory that brought the team back up to their record of .500.

Girl's tennis defeats Paint Branch

By Ely Portillo | Oct. 7, 2003, midnight | In Print »

The girl's tennis team brought itself back up to a .500 record this season (4-4), after a disappointing loss in an important divisional game which will cause the team to drop from Division I to II.

Going nowhere fast at the MVA

By Ely Portillo | Oct. 3, 2003, midnight | In Print »

Blazers lose critical game to Quince Orchard

By Ely Portillo | Sept. 30, 2003, midnight | In Print »

The girl's tennis team suffered its closest and most emotional defeat of the season today. The protracted game was decided by one dramatic match after another, and though the Blazers came agonizingly near to victory, Quince Orchard triumphed.

Controversial Redskins ruling

By Ely Portillo | Sept. 29, 2003, midnight | In Print »

The controversial ruling of a critical pass as incomplete during the Redksins' victory over the Patriots last Sunday highlighted the pitfalls of instant review technology and obtuse rules that many fans don't understand.

Girl's tennis rebounds to defeat Kennedy

By Ely Portillo | Sept. 24, 2003, midnight | In Print »

The girl's tennis team has had a rocky season, marked with both 7-0 wins and 0-7 losses. However, the Blazers didn't let their past interfere with their game against Kennedy, as they rolled over the opposition 6-1.

Cold Creek Manor is extraordinarily ordinary

By Ely Portillo | Sept. 23, 2003, midnight | In Print »

Cold Creek Manor is a difficult movie to write about - not because it was terrible, certainly not because it was great. It's just another run of the mill, perfectly average, formulaic murder mystery, with no distinguishing characteristics whatsoever.

Girl's tennis wins despite storms

By Ely Portillo | Sept. 15, 2003, midnight | In Print »

Blair and Seneca Valley's girl's tennis teams were still waiting inside at 3:30 PM on Monday, seeing if the courts would be dry enough to play on. But the Blazers won 5-0 despite beginning competition almost an hour late and having their last two singles matches rained out.

Once Upon a Time in Mexico isn't worth your time

By Ely Portillo | Sept. 13, 2003, midnight | In Print »

Once Upon a Time in Mexico, the title of the third movie in Robert Rodriguez's classic El Mariachi trilogy, invites you to visit an explosion-filled world of pistol-packing gunfighters, vengeful mariachis, crooked CIA agents, and beautiful women. What the title leaves out is exactly what happened once upon a time south of the border.

'Pericles' auditions finish

By Ely Portillo | Sept. 10, 2003, midnight | In Print »

Auditions for the fall play Pericles, a tragic comedy by Shakespeare, finished Tuesday with an exceptional turnout. Over 100 people tried out for the play.

Going nowhere fast at the MVA

By Ely Portillo | Sept. 9, 2003, midnight | In Print »

This summer, I found a maddeningly inefficient place that doesn't seem to obey the laws of physics, where time slows and even stands still. And there isn't just one spot like this in Maryland, there are 23!

Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle disaster

By Ely Portillo | July 1, 2003, midnight | In Print »

Sequels are often worse than originals, and this movie proves that point quite thoroughly. Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle is like a two-hour long Krispy Kreme doughnut – sugar-coated and lacking any real substance. Also, large parts of this movie make no sense whatsoever.



Images (1)


Photo: snoWatcher

By Ely Portillo | Feb. 23, 2005, midnight

The snoWatcher's blueprint.