opinions » humor

Creepy costuming

By Pia Nargundkar | Oct. 30, 2006, midnight | In Humor »

It's Halloween time, baby! You know what that means: candy, scary movies, witches, goblins, candy, mummies, graveyards, bats, spider webs, haunted houses and of course, candy. But unless you want to be a spoilsport, you have to work for your sour Warheads and three-month-old Twix bars. Don't be shy – you can never grow too old for free candy. Now all you need is the perfect, scary costume. As usual, Silver Chips Online comes to the rescue!

The hunt for the October surprise

By Pia Nargundkar | Oct. 6, 2006, midnight | In Humor »

October is here. This can translate to a variety of things depending on whom you ask. For football fans, the couch is just getting that comfortable groove back and the air is ripe for tailgating. For marketers, it marks the start of advertising…for Valentine's Day. (Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas are covered by July). For students it brings the anxiety and excitement of Homecoming, PSATs and another eight months of cafeteria food. But for politicians, it means a month of anticipating the unexpected. The October surprise is around the corner.

Extraterrestrial bullying

By Pia Nargundkar | Sept. 20, 2006, midnight | In Humor »

Pluto, the beloved underdog planet, has been kicked out of the Big Boys Club. The International Astronomical Union (IAU) voted in late August to demote Pluto to "dwarf planet" status. Normally, no one would care what 2,500 astronomers in the IAU decide, but this has repercussions. Big Time.

Rules of life

By Bridget Egan | Aug. 10, 2006, midnight | In Humor »

Life is not fair. William Goldman, author of "The Princess Bride," made this case to the world in the novel that exposes just how unfair life can really be. For the purpose of saving others time, money and weasels, I have compiled a list of tips; the do's and don'ts of life. I am under the assumption that the reader already knows about the dangers of bringing a knife to a gunfight (thank you Mr. Connery), so I'll skip that pointer and move on to the lesser known hints to living a fulfilling life without regrets.

Cornucopia of curious celebrations

By Mary Donahue, Bridget Egan | Feb. 9, 2006, midnight | In Humor »

In lieu of the New Year—and the realization that there actually is a National Squirrel Day (Jan. 21)—we have decided to embark on an excursion through the year in hopes to discover all the random "holidays" that the world does not know of. Everybody has heard of Martin Luther King Jr. Day and Thanksgiving, but there are so many other holidays out there that stir our curiosity.

Post-holiday horrors

By Natasha Prados | Jan. 6, 2006, midnight | In Humor »

The Christmas tree is in the trash and all the lights and ornaments hidden away in the depths of the basement; the menorah is out, and so are the Kwanzaa candles; the Three Kings are long gone; the wrapping paper has been recycled and all you have to remind you of the holidays are those extra pounds. Reality has struck: Break is over.

The lazy cheapskate's guide to holiday shopping

By Alex Hyder | Dec. 23, 2005, midnight | In Humor »

If you are reading this, then you likely find yourself in the same situation as I. You, sir, are a man, I guarantee it. How do I know? Because, like millions of men the world over, you are reading this on Christmas Eve, and, after emerging from a seemingly endless pile of work, you have just realized that haven't made a penny's worth of Christmas purchases.

Fall fashion preview

By Alex Hyder | Oct. 26, 2005, midnight | In Humor »

As fall arrives, the styles found in stores and on students are changing almost as quickly as the leaves on the trees. This, however, does not stop one fashion icon - yours truly, Chips' best-dressed staffer - from looking good. With these latest trends everyone can stay warm and look (almost) as good as me…

Ask Chips: Regime change

By | Oct. 10, 2005, midnight | In Ask Chips »

"samir p." asks, "As you can see, your ask chips takes forever. Another reason why sc print is better than sco. Am i correct or what?"

Miss Driving Disaster

By Natasha Prados | Sept. 30, 2005, midnight | In Humor »

Every driver looks forward to the day that they will get their provisional license and drive alone for the first time. For many Blazers, (or maybe just me) these first days of freedom are, unfortunately, marked by mayhem and mishaps. That is why I have valiantly taken it upon myself to ridicule my own mistakes for public amusement in the hopes that Blazers will benefit. The result is this comprehensive guide to dealing with automobile related emergencies, from leaving on the parking break to locking your keys in the car.

Ask Chips 12: We succumb to the outsourcing craze

By | March 11, 2005, midnight | In Ask Chips »

Due to the highly complex nature of the questions for this installment of Ask Chips, we decided to do what all technical companies are doing and outsource the labor. This week, we have invited a special guest answerer to tackle these mind numbingly boring questions in the hopes that this will spur you all on to much more meaningful queries. Our special guest for this round will be AP Physics teacher Mr. Schafer, who has graciously offered his expertise in answering these questions.