opinions » humor

SCO Says: Girlfriends, weather and homecoming experiences

By Rohan Oprisko, Jack Estrin, Caroline Gabriel, Emma Yeager | Oct. 20, 2013, 8:17 p.m. | In Humor »

This year was kind of a fail for me getting girls at homecoming. How do I get a girl to dance with me next year? -Desperate to dance

SCO Says: Dating, SAT or ACT and much more

By Samuel Popper, Melissa Arias, Michael Gerbasi, Temi Ibirogba | Sept. 19, 2013, 9:58 a.m. | In Humor »

Yo how do I learn to balance school, sports and a social life? -Illuminati Mel: Just don't sleep

Snoozing is the way to win

By Samuel Popper | Sept. 10, 2013, 1:49 p.m. | In Humor »

But that night before the start of arguably the most important year of high school: my junior year, I noticed that I was in fact not ready for school. I did not have a single school supply!

SCO Says: Prom, TV and other shenanigans

By Hannah Lynn, Stacy Mathew, Mimi Verdonk | March 18, 2013, 8:14 p.m. | In Humor »

Your experts are back, telling you how to properly live your life. Good advice is not guaranteed in the slightest.

How to survive senioritis

By Hannah Lynn | Feb. 14, 2013, 7:51 p.m. | In Humor »

It's that time of the year when the holiday season is finished and there it feels like there is little to look forward to in February and March. However, for seniors, it also means the first semester is over and most college applications have been submitted. This can only mean one thing: senioritis is beginning to set in.

Secret Santa: SCO's guide to gift-giving

By Rachel Auerbach, Stacy Mathew | Dec. 20, 2012, 7:04 p.m. | In Humor »

Still looking for that perfect Secret Santa gift? SCO's experts have some tips for you!

Is Black Friday ruining Thanksgiving?

By Hannah Lynn | Nov. 22, 2012, 12:32 p.m. | In Humor »

Get your priorities straight; shopping should not come before precious Thanksgiving family time (or even more precious arguing-with-family time)

SCO Says: Need Advice?

By Hannah Lynn, Stacy Mathew, Mimi Verdonk | Oct. 2, 2012, 8:40 p.m. | In Ask Chips »

Need advice? Luckily, Silver Chips Online is here to answer all of your questions!

Clean up, clean up, everybody everywhere

By Hannah Lynn | April 15, 2012, 3:32 p.m. | In Humor »

It's hard to say that any teenager is an expert at cleaning, but SCO will try its hardest to give sound advice.

snoWatch: Three feet of snow is on its way

By Melodi Anahtar, Marjorie Fuchs | Feb. 8, 2012, 1:18 p.m. | In Humor »

Yes, the Snow Gods are finally smiling upon us. And with this magnificant news, snoWatch is officially back.

Full-court Press

By Alison Kronstadt, Eli Schwadron | Feb. 6, 2012, 11:27 p.m. | In Humor »

The Silver Chips Online staff defeated the Silver Chips Print staff in basketball on Friday afternoo—wait, what?

Summon a Snow Day

By Janvi Raichura | Jan. 23, 2012, 9:57 a.m. | In Humor »

The Snow Day, capitalized out of respect, is one the most revered, yet enigmatic, days in a student's calendar. But if we all work together and follow a few simple tasks, we can make it snow!

Traditional travesties

By Stacy Mathew, Mimi Verdonk | Dec. 19, 2011, 1:03 p.m. | In Humor »

Ah, the holidays. They should be full of family, cheer and harmony. But let's face it; they're a little lacking in the food department.

Baby, Baby, Baby… NO!

By Brittany Cheng | Nov. 8, 2011, 10:44 p.m. | In Humor »

When Mariah Yeater said the Biebs is her baby daddy, she approached it the wrong way. Luckily, SCO is on your side to help you, normal and rational Bieber fan, not repeat her past mistakes. We promise, you'll be on your way to seducing the teenage heartthrob in no time.

Ask Chips: The best article you will read on SCO. Ever.

By Saaraa Farooq, Valerie Hu, Liv Jacobson | Oct. 27, 2011, 1:10 p.m. | In Ask Chips »

Welcome to the first edition of Ask Chips (AC) for the 2011-2012 school year! As you may have noticed by the byline, we have an updated crew. The new girls in town are our beloved, stressed out news editor Valerie and our fresh meat Saaraa, who has an awesome name. And, of course, Liv (a.k.a. the funniest, most attractive and most entertaining member on staff) is still here to save you from all of your silly, mortal problems.

Party like it's 1492

By Alison Kronstadt | Oct. 11, 2011, 10:26 p.m. | In Humor »

This intrepid reporter has traveled all over the Internet to bring you the best ways to make Columbus Day special – or at least very, very interesting.

Apply yourself

By Alison Kronstadt | Sept. 23, 2011, 1:56 p.m. | In Humor »

Your academic experts here at SCO have been whining – I mean brainstorming – about how to improve the college application process and we have the answer: welcome to the application for SCOllege.

How to survive the apocalypse without really trying

By Sarah Harper | Sept. 16, 2011, 12:18 p.m. | In Humor »

So the question isn't when the world will end, but how. In order to prepare for the worst-case scenarios, SCO proudly presents the Idiot's Survival Guide to the Impending Apocalypse!

Ask Chips: Where trite meets wordplay

By Liv Jacobson, Anya Gosine, Mandy Xu | May 5, 2011, 11:16 p.m. | In Ask Chips »

Welcome, readers of SCO! You are part of a very lucky and blessed group to have come across the last Ask Chips this year. We know, we will be dearly missed.

Don't pity these fools

By Alison Kronstadt | March 31, 2011, 12:11 p.m. | In Humor »

Being funny is hard, as anyone who's had a joke go south can tell you (the memory will stay with you until you die. Maybe after.) You readers have it easy.

Urban DictSCOnary

By Alison Kronstadt, Eli Schwadron | March 7, 2011, 1:47 p.m. | In Humor »

There's tons of slang being tossed around Blair nowadays, but we've picked out the best of the best to get you #hip.

snoWatch: Seventy to freezing in three days

By Ava Wallace | Feb. 21, 2011, 4:03 p.m. | In Humor »

Spring lulled the 85 percent of the female population into a false sense of security, but we snoWatch experts know that the laws of nature don't really apply to Silver Spring.

Ask Chips: Gucci aliens ask deep philosophical questions

By Liv Jacobson, Anya Gosine | Feb. 3, 2011, 1:13 p.m. | In Ask Chips »

B minor asks "When's the next bag of Ask Chips coming out!!?"Right now, so prepare yourselves, mortals.

SnoWatch: Can we get an Even day?

By Ava Wallace | Jan. 31, 2011, 5:53 p.m. | In Humor »

On Tuesday, we found out that the sky gods are democratic, as they heeded Obama's words from the State of the Union address and "did big things" (those of you who are out of the loop, go to 1:01:16).

SnoWatch: we're (nearly) halfway there

By Ava Wallace | Jan. 20, 2011, 8:26 p.m. | In Humor »

Why do the proponents of precipitation, spokespeople of slush, advocates of ice and flag-bearers (thank you, Thesaurus.com) of flurries suddenly turn their backs on all they hold near and dear?

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